Be Impeccable with Your Word

My Values

I recently re-looked at one of the many values/personality/skills tests I often take. It seems I am on a continuous quest to understand who I am. However, I am finding that it is not I whom I want to understand. I want to be UNDERSTOOD! And I want to understand others.

Not long ago I went through a romantic relationship break-up. I am the one who broke it off and yet it seems I am the one having trouble letting it go. I don’t like that part of me. I know why I ended it. I wasn’t happy. I felt taken for granted. I had to beg for sex, for crying out loud!!! We had a quasi-polyamorous relationship. I say quasi because he is in a committed relationship with someone and I have other lovers and he knows about them and they know about him. I am a huge proponent of No Secrets! She, however, pretends I do not exist most of the time. Of course there are the times when our relationship is put before her. She goes through his phone and sees that we still talk. Then there is the ensuing flurry of hate-filled phone calls and texts from her until he persuades her to stop. Then it’s back to business as usual. This has been going on for almost 2 ½ years and became excruciatingly tiresome.

He lies. He lies to both of us about a myriad of things. His last foray into the Liar Kingdom was simply the straw that broke the camels’ back for me. And so, I ended it and I didn’t do it gracefully. I stumbled like a clumsy oaf through it all; the proverbial bull in a china shop. How appropriate since I am a Taurus after all. It was acrimonious and so ugly! I am embarrassed by the way I handled the whole thing. I wish I could take it back and behave how I really feel in my heart and not allow my ego to have full reign. Alas, I cannot so I dissect the crap out of what I did and didn’t do and try, ever so valiantly, to NOT beat myself up.

As I dissect, I try to understand my motives. That is what has led me to read the book I am reading by Don Miguel Ruiz, “The Mastery of Love, A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship”. Perhaps you have read one of his previous works, The Four Agreements, an excellent missive of Toltec wisdom. I often refer to it, especially when troubled by a personal event, such as this current break-up. The first agreement, Be Impeccable with Your Word, has been coming up quite often recently; not only with my lover, but with my former roommate & his brother. Apparently it is something I need refreshed in my own life and that is why it continues to come up. The simple way of saying this is, “Do What You Say You Are Going to Do”. An online personality, Danielle LaPorte, has also been putting this out there. My father taught me this principle as a young child and he reiterated it quite often through my life. He was a person whose “word” you could take to the bank, as the saying goes. My father taught me to detest lying and the lying liars who tell them. The thing is we all lie at some point for a host of reasons; most of which are just to save face so we won’t be embarrassed. Be Impeccable With Your Word.

Was I not in my past relationship? Am I not in life? The Word. Very powerful stuff, that. The Bible tells us that God created all of creation with just that…His Word. In the New Testament Jesus is spoken of as The Word…In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and The Word is God. (paraphrased from John 1:1) Yes indeed, our words create the world in which we live. Many people will say it is the Vibration of our thoughts that create the world we live in, but I believe our words are just as powerful as our thoughts, our feelings, & our vibrations. People have no clue what we are thinking until we speak. They can guess, they can surmise, & they can assume, but until you actually speak, we’re all fumbling in the dark.

I am thinking I was totally impeccable with my word with my lover. I tried to be on most occasions, however, I sometimes held back. I didn’t fully speak my mind out of fear I wouldn’t be understood. Did he ever really know what I was talking about? He once told me that conversation with me was almost as good as the sex we shared…almost. I wonder if he truly knew how much that affected my feelings for him and how it strengthened our relationship and actually kept it going longer than it should have.

Oh how I miss him, but because I love myself more than I wanted the relationship I left it. I left it because I felt that to continue sent signals to him that it was alright for him to keep lying to ‘her; alright to make promises and constantly break them…no call, no show, no explanation. I was supposed to accept that??? Why? Why would any self-respecting person put up with such contempt or value of their time? The thing is, no SELF respecting person would. I put very little expectation into this relationship because he lied to me from the very beginning of it. Because I had just ended a very abusive relationship and need validating I put up with it. I traded sex for companionship. I traded sex for conversation. I did as many women do, I traded sex for validation.

It is said the lesson will keep coming to you until you learn it. I broke it off with this lover many times before. What makes today different? I REMEMBERED the lesson I had learned at the end of my marriage. I do not need anyone to validate me. I am worthy of love. I am worthy of truth. I am awesome & I know it. I am Strong. I am Powerful. I am Beautiful. All I NEED in this world is to remember that I am wonderfully made and my Creators love me more than I could ever ask or imagine. Now I say yes. Yes to me and yes to life.

Just last week my current roommates’ lover tried to set me up. He felt bad that I am alone. He equates being alone with lonely. I told him that I am not lonely and that I actually enjoy my own company. I am using this time to heal the wounds; to learn more about myself AND others. I am using this time to re-connect to the things that bring me joy. I am using this time to discover all the barriers within myself that keep me from having the love I deserve and the life I want to live. I feel good. Do I miss my lover? Hell yes! We had awesome sex and conversation. But in the end it was all built on lies. The lies he told and the lies I told myself. Never compromise your values. In the end you will be so unhappy with that decision. Be Impeccable With Your WORD.

What is Love Exactly?

Years ago there was a singer who published his work under the Christian genre. His name is Don Francisco and he sang with people like Amy Grant, as well as on his own. His most famous song is He’s Alive and to this day I get chills when I listen to this song and I often cry in gratitude.

When my ex and I married we chose his songs, “I Could Never Promise You”. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPGYwVEHZJA  His work made a big impact on my life and I still think of his songs now and then. Bitter Sweet memories for certain, especially since it was my ex who chose the song.

I’m wondering if my ex and I had continued to listen to Don’s work if we may still be married? Guess that point is moot now since we’ve been apart for as long as we were married.

Why am I thinking of these things? I received a post by Mastin Kipp, a young man who blogs regularly, and is baby lovetransparent in his struggles and in his victories. Today’s post about Love brought me to Don’s songs because his songs are all about Love…Jesus’ love for us…God’s Love for us. It all started with Mastin’s first line…Love is an action, a choice. Don’s song says Love is not a feeling, it’s an act of your will. I recall this often when people are acting unloving toward me and when I am feeling unloving, too. Music, at least to me, is the language of our souls. Music and lyrics often say what we are unable to verbalize ourselves. My last long-term relationship partner used to laugh that he could always tell how I was feeling by what I was playing. I also used those songs to drive home something I had been saying to him, but he wasn’t really hearing me. The music always and I do mean always caught his attention. He is just a musically driven as I am 🙂 I hope you enjoy Mastin’s post as much as I do. I like it when people make me THINK!

what-is-loveLove is an action, a choice. 
Love is not really an emotion. 
To Love someone is to choose to show up to be devoted to The Divine through that person.

So often in life these days we think that Love is easy or that Love only feels good, but that is not the full extent of what Love is – especially relationship Love.

People think that relationship Love is something that must mask your true feelings, it must always be a euphoric high of some kind or that Love must be a trade.

But that’s not what Love is.

Love is a constant offering to serve to Heart of the person you are in a relationship with. Love is a constant surrendering of your protective ego, so that the Heart can open even more and show you the unknown beauty of its depths.

Love transcends language, religion and belief systems. Love is the deepest gift that we could ever be given by someone and it’s the greatest gift that we could ever give ourselves.

Love is not a trade. Love is not a power trip. Love is not some grandiose expression of infatuation. Love is a humble and subtle power that guides us to grow into titans of giving.

Love asks us to see beyond the fear of our partner, to dive deeper than their ego would want us to and to not leave, even when all that is triggering us wants us to run.

Love shows up when fear is present and asks for more… Love is bigger, Love is brighter, Love is more powerful than any other force in the Uni-verse, because at the core of every cell in the Universe is the deep yearning and desire to Love and be Loved.

Love does not march in with pomp and circumstance. Love whispers. Love silently beckons us to get over ourselves so that we can see the beauty that lay within us and every other sacred soul.

We were not sent to judge, for judgment is just a request for Love. We were sent to Love the parts of ourselves and the world that lack it. We were sent to be the Love in the seeming void of Love.

We, indeed, are the answer. No one is coming, for we have already come.

Our job is to wake up to Love and then be it.

Our job is to Love. Mastin Kipp

Dude Hits it Right on The Head (nail head that is)

Sex 3.0

I’m reading JJ Robert’s book, Sex 3.0 – A Sexual Revolution Manual. I listened to his videos. There are five and they are only 10 minutes each. Once I started watched the first one, I was hooked! He most definitely had me at hello.

I write alot about sex. I write about it because there is so  much misconception about an act that is truly as natural as eating, drinking and sleeping. There is so much mystery and taboo shrouding the topic. As a child of the Sexual Revolution of the 60’s & 70’s, I was intrigued by JJ’s title. What??? There’s yet another revolution? After reading JJ’s book, I’m inclined to think we merely started the revolution decades ago and now we are actually in the throes of said revolution.

I like being on the cutting edge. If there’s a new restaurant in town, I’m one of the first to eat there. If there is a road as yet untraveled in my city, you can bet I’ll be going down it. New software? Yep I need that:) However, I am also a traditionalist in some ways and I hold on to things that have long passed their usefulness. That is what the whole marriage paradigm had been for me until I realized one day that I simply do not believe in marriage any longer and haven’t since my last divorce over 15 years ago. I’m not jaded. I’m not cynical. I am most definitely a realist and from what I see all around me, most people don’t really hold to the sanctity of marriage any longer either. Have you seen the divorce rate stats lately? And how about the number of co-habitating couples? There’s a new way to do relationships and it is a return to the way things were before man laid claim to women as their “Property”.

In JJ’s book & videos he discusses Sex 1.0, 2.0, and finally 3.0. He speaks about the evolution of relationships. I encourage everyone to read his book and watch his videos. Very enlightening. His topic is one I have been researching myself for the past few years. Not on the grand scale that he did, but researching nonetheless. There are several groups on facebook dealing with sexuality. There is the Jujumama crowd and they were just a bit too forceful in their tactics for me. I felt like their philosophy was being shoved down my throat by their leader. Maybe it’s because she seems to be more in a yang energy than I enjoy. And there are many many Tantra groups. Most of those groups didn’t address what I was looking for either.  JJ on the other hand has articulated the essence of my thinking and he has done it quite well.

It wasn’t as easy for me to leave the 2.0 paradigm as I had wanted it to be. Even now I struggle with possessiveness & jealousy. I do, however, see those two demons becoming a thing of the past much sooner than previously expected. And that is a good thing.

I really do enjoy living in relationships that do not have fences. I love the freedom. Mr. Current Lover once told me that I am the frees-est person he knows. I’m happy he thinks so 🙂

Love….Consumed

shoulder-kissConsumed with the thoughts & actions of another. Isn’t that what we truly want? To merge with this person in a way that takes us completely out of this world. Our Heart Chakra WIDE OPEN. Bliss. Pure Bliss. This is what we seek.

And yet, there are those who will not open to it. I am wondering. Are they afraid of this consuming feeling? Do they fear a loss of control? How sad! They do  not yet know that this type of consummation is what brings total clarity of the mind and a cleansing of the soul of the everyday world. To me, this is what Tantra is really about! It is energizing and exhilarating! It is focus on what is truly important in life and the determination to bring into fruition all that one desires. It is meditation and action at the same time. It is truly being in the moment and completely present.

I have a lover who seems to fear this and he stays away from me far too much. So much that I fear our connection is ending. I am so sad that he fears this and yet I can fully understand it. It is a bit scary to those who have never experienced the total consummation of a Tantric experience. Oh yes, we have flirted with it a bit. However, he always pulls back when we begin to go deeper. I have tried to get him to speak of it, but he brushes me off as though it is not an important matter. He just doesn’t know what will come out of this connection! I don’t know how to get him to let down those walls and just TRUST ME.

Trust. A very fragile thing for us, is it not? I have had to teach myself to trust. I still struggle with it, but one day I Will conquer that demon. In the meantime, I will accept his distrust and help him to understand that I have no intentions of hurting him or betraying his trust in me.

I will sit in meditation today and I set forth the intention to draw to me the lover who is as willing to be consumed by love as I am, the one who knows the art of Sacred Sex. He is  already here. I simply need to open my eyes to see him.  Yes, my heart is a place of prayer.

~It’s beautiful when you find someone who is in love with all of you. 

Someone who wants to undress your mind and make love to your thoughts. 

Someone who wants to watch you slowly take down all the walls 

you’ve built up around your heart and let them inside.~

Tantra is the Natural Way To God

Tantra is way to God“Tantra is the natural way to God, the normal way to God. The object is to become so completely instinctual, so mindless, that we merge with ultimate nature – that the woman disappears and becomes a door for the ultimate, the man disappears and becomes a door for the ultimate. 

“This is the tantric definition of our sexuality: the return to absolute innocence, absolute oneness. The greatest sexua

l thrill of all is not a search for thrills, but a silent waiting – utterly relaxed, utterly mindless. One is conscious, conscious only of being conscious. One is consciousness. One is contented but there is no content to it. And then there is great beauty, great benediction,
Osho

The Questioner Asks

what is Tantra“The questioner asks: ‘What is tantric sex…a sex which is a meditation based on certain techniques?’

“If you are too technique oriented you will miss the mystery of Tantra. It is pseudo-Tantra that is based on techniques because if techniques are there, ego will be there, controlling. Then you will be doing it – and doing is the problem, doing brings the doer.

Tantra has to be a non-doing; it can not be technical. You can learn techniques – you can learn a certain breathing so that coitus can become longer. If you breathe very, very slowly, if you breathe without any hurry, then coitus will become longer, but you are controlling. It will not be wild and it will not be innocent, and it will not be meditation either. It will be mind – how can it be meditation? The mind will be controlling. You cannot even breathe fast, you have to keep your breathing slow – if the breathing is slow then ejaculation will take a longer time, because for ejaculation to happen the breathing has to be fast and chaotic. Now, this is technique but not Tantra.

osho

SCIENCE IS DISCOVERING THE POWER OF MENSTRUAL BLOOD

Power of Menstral BloodGnostic Christians used to call their religion Synesaktism – another word for Agape – which means ‘The Way of Shaktism’, referring to Tantric Yoni-Worship.

One of the most important rituals was preparing a ‘drink of immortality’ made from menstrual blood, which is full of healing stem cells, which can actually activate our cellular capacity to regenerate and transport us to endocrine states of rapture. Or in a spiritual sense open us to the Frequency of Love and Eternal Life, transporting us to another Dimension – called Heaven, Paradise, Nirvana etc.

This ‘Love Feast’ or ‘Sacred Marriage’ – a core part of the Menstrual Mysteries – was eventually declared a heresy and women were barred from participating in Christian rites.

However the ‘Power of Renewal, Rebirth, and Resurrection’ previously associated with the Holy Womb and Menstrual Blood of the Divine Mother was transferred to the story of Jesus and his ritual of Eucharist – ‘hic est sanguis meus – this is the Chalice of my Blood’ – where worshippers ‘drank his blood’ to gain the power of Rebirth through him.

In most ancient myths and religions, throughout the world dating back hundreds of thousands of years, the power of rebirth had always been a blessing of the Feminine Womb – embodied and gifted by Sacred Womb Priestesses across many cultures. It had never been held by a man. Although there are many legends about the ‘menstrual powers of female shamans’ being stolen by male gods.

The Holy Grail, in its true original essence, is the Womb. 

Women born many, many thousands of years ago in what we might called ‘Original Innocence’ – before many of our genetic capabilities went offline, held this power naturally, as a birthright, shared with their tribes in renewal rituals.

Since those times, once the birthright was lost, women across many lineages and cultures – Womb Priestesses – have practiced many varied ways to heal, clear and open the Womb, so it can once again embody the frequency of Love, of Original Innocence, so that the energetic and physical stem cell capacity can activate purer states of consciousness and activate incredible regenerative healing. This knowledge has been almost lost over the last thousand years, as it has been fragmented, scattered and deliberately destroyed.

Now it is desiring to return, to ‘renew our lands’ as the myths go.

Earlier this year Dr Azra Bertrand and I met with a top international research scientist working with menstrual blood stem cells. His research indicated they had the capacity to work ‘miracles’. He described how the first time he used Menstrual Blood Stem Cells he felt like he had been ‘reborn’ – an unfit man in his late fifties, he’d had to run around the block because he had so much energy.

Another research scientist in his sixties working with stem cells had experienced his hair change from grey to the black of his youth in a matter of months. Throughout the world, in secret, these experiments are happening – in China, Russia, India, and more.

Whilst women are giving their power away to patriarchal ideologies, taking drugs to stop their menstrual cycle, using cancer-causing chemical bleached tampons to stem the flow, seeing their Menses as an inconvenient ‘curse’ they are ashamed of, male scientists around the world are using the power to experience states of physical and spiritual high.

Isn’t it time we reclaimed our power? Fountain of Life will have much more to say about this subject in 2013!

Please circulate and share the information. 

Extract from Womb Awakening: Return of the Feminine, Rebirth of the Masculine © Fountain of Life

Lantanagurl's Rambling Mind

letting goThe title of this post is so very typically Southern and I simply could not resist using it. Such wonderful things are happening in my life and these words are appropriate.

I’ve been studying the Law of Attraction for a couple of years now. I have also been on a spiritual junket like nobodies business. Growing exponentially in many areas had me overwhelmed for awhile or as they say in a certain community…for a little minute or for a teetee…hehehehe.

I love where I am right now. Not the actually physical place, but the mental & emotional place. For the first time in a long time I feel GOOD!

My life is one big roller coaster. One minute I can stay living where I am and the next minutes it’s get the f@#k out. But you know what? I’m not going to let the indecision’s of others ruin my zen. The lack…

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SURRENDER

Surrender

Surrender

“Before I understood how to open with you, I tried giving you orgasms so I knew I was a good lover. But now, all I want is your surrender. I want your heart’s pleasure to ripple through your open body and saturate my life with your love. Your body’s openness to love’s flow draws me into you, and through your heart’s surrender I am opened to the love that lives as the universe. Whether you have an orgasm or not while we make love, your body’s trust and devotional openness is my secret doorway to love’s deepest bliss.”

David Deida Quotes