Life Lessons and quotes from ‘Peaceful Warrior’

Life Lessons and quotes from ‘Peaceful Warrior’

I watched the movie ‘Peaceful Warrior’ a third time last night and wrote down all the life lessons and quotes I noticed. I am sure I missed a few and they might mean something else to you than to me. The main reason why I love sharing these, it is to keep myself on track and learn to master them myself.
Life Lessons and quotes from Peaceful Warrior:

  • Knowledge is not the same as wisdom – wisdom is doing it
  • What does happiness has to do with anything? – Everything
  • Many people live a lifetime without ever being awake
  • Service is the highest purpose
  • You need to start asking better questions
  • Slow down, you might actually taste something
  • Others want you to believe their answers. Find your own answers – from the inside
  • You’re not what you think – take out the trash, empty your mind ( I disagree completely with this one…You Are indeed what You think-The Bible-The Law of Attraction-the Law of Manifestation…but yes…DO take out the trash!)
  • “Are you out of your mind?” – “yes, and it’s taken a lifetime of practise”
  • There’s never nothing going on
  • The only thing that matters is this moment – Here, Now
  • Sometimes you have to lose your mind before you come to your senses
  • Learn to meditate in every action
  • All you have is right Now
  • Ego shouts: “what would you  be without me?!”
  • Not knowing is a great realization
  • Emotions are natural, but don’t let them rule you
  • Find your answers from within
  • There are no ordinary moments
  • You’ll never be better or less than anybody else
  • Be conscious about your choices and responsible for your actions (including your thoughts)
  • The ones that are the hardest to love, are the ones that need it the most
  • Death isn’t sad – the sad thing is, most people don’t live at all
  • Even if you get exactly what you want, you’ll still suffer, because you can’t hold on to it
  • It’s the journey that brings us happiness, not the destination
  • Life has three rules
    1. Life is a mystery – don’t wast time trying to figure it out
    2. Keep a sense of humour – especially about yourself, it’s a strength beyond all messure
    3. Nothing ever stays the same
  • Where are you? Here!
  • What time is it? Now!
  • What are you? This moment!

Time to Get Real

From my earliest recollections I have been a sexually-aware being. I’m not certain if I was born this way or if there was an event in my life that nudged me in this direction. I only know that I Am.

When I was nine my grandfather molested me. As far as I can remember it was only one time and it was in the backseat of my parents car. I don’t recall what we were doing. I only remember that my grandfather pushed his fingers inside my young yoni. I was surprised by it and truth be known, it didn’t feel unpleasant. However, it violated a trust and struck me to the core of my being. I haven’t been able to fully trust another person ever since.

It is a terrible thing to lose trust. There is always this need to be vulnerable and yet there is the niggling feeling that to do so would be detrimental somehow. It has affected every relationship I have had.

I’m not here to lament what happened. The past is the past and I forgave him long ago. Once I learned that to not forgive was hurting me and not him, I just had to let it go. Even so, the effects of that violation have haunted me. It’s time to get real. It’s time to let it all go once and for all.

The Universe has brought into my life a most splendid man. He touches my soul like no other has ever done before. And I am ruining it! I am allowing the past to poison what started off as such a lovely connection. I am allowing my programming about sex and religion to destroy one of the most poignant connections I have encountered. And so here I am, getting real with myself, baring my all for others to see. Being vulnerable.

The thing is, I like being vulnerable. I truly enjoy soul connections. I am open to love, once you get past the sentry to my heart, that is:) I fully understand that we are sexual creatures and there is tremendous energy & power in our sexuality.

I have been delving into all things spiritual the past couple of years. I allowed a particularly heinous relationship almost be the literal death of me. How I must have despised myself and felt unworthy to have allowed such treatment! Ever the scientist, I have explored all of the reasons I allowed this relationship. In the end I realized I simply didn’t love ME enough. I have been working on that intensely for the past year or so.

For awhile I let myself be bogged down by the “why” of it. Why did I not love me? What events caused me to lose that love. On and on I searched until I finally realized that the ‘why’ of it is really not that important. What IS important is that I begin to love myself again. That is exactly what I have been doing, too. I am teaching myself to love me just the way I am. Not the way I want to be…a few pounds lighter, healthier, richer, happier. I have come to accept me as I am and I truly do love me.

I have discovered that the only way to live the life I want and to be the person I want to be is to love me in all of my flaws and weakness as well as my strengths and beauty. I Am Love. I know this deep in my soul. Now to get my ego and past programming out of the way so I can enjoy this perfectly lovely relationship with my new lover.

Fear is a great motivator. Sometimes fear paralyses us into inaction, however, sometimes it is the thing that propels us into greater experiences of life. That is where I am today. I do not want to lose this connection. I do not want to destroy what has proven thus far to be one of the most enlightening connections of my Five decades of life. I want to Be In The Moment. As Dan Millman wrote in The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, “What Time Is It? NOW. That is what time it is.

I almost lost my opportunity for the greatest growth spurt of my spiritual life because I was afraid of being vulnerable and afraid of trusting too much. I cannot allow fear of being hurt to keep me from him.

I am open to you my love. I will trust you as you ask. Teach me the secrets I know you have for me. I am oh so ready for your power & energy…oh so very very ready.

Vulnerability is a birthplace of Joy-Creativity -Belonging

Be Courageous


The Great Question, What Is Spirit’s Plan for Me?

 The Great Question, What Is Spirit’s Plan for Me?

How do we realize the plan Spirit has for us every step of the way?

This is the question of every seeker and anyone who has ever wondered what their life purpose is. On the one hand, life is so complicated. No one provided a manual to explain things, which means that it can take us twenty, thirty years to figure things out… On the other hand, life is so simple. It is always about the now moment and about our being in the moment.



Life Is Simple

No, life isn’t always easy, but it is simple. So, let’s make this simple too.

The Formula

Life has a formula that is always working for us. Life is always about love, expansion and becoming who we are. In life we are meant to feel love, experience love and give love. Love becomes automatic as we feel fulfilled though our expansion which brings about our dreams and positive experiences of ourselves. Those positive experiences help us feel like we are who we wish to be in our greatest potential.

To help us fulfill this, life is always working a program for us. The program is infinitely complex, energetically speaking, and simple as can be. God is always working the energetic web of life to bring each of us the right experience at the right time according to our energy and our desires.

This plan includes short-term growth and expanding experiences as well as long-term growth and evolution experiences. Together these are all set up to help us fulfill the formula and become the co-creators of life in our highest potentials possible.

 Working With The Plan

Being aware of the plan isn’t always a part of the plan. Actually, for most of us, we may know very little of any plan life has for us. In many cases, we are fortunate to know what we desire or who we wish to be, let alone what growth or changes we need to undertake to get there.

Be Perceptive

If you know what you desire, who you are and who you wish to be, then you are in a good place to begin to work with life. Working with life requires that we choose to work with life and that we listen.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Hearing life is probably the most challenging. While we all know how to listen, we don’t always hear what is said. Many of us color the perception of what we hear so that we hear more of what we wish to hear. We also block what we don’t want to hear, so that our perception is off in at least two ways.

Do we do the same with life? Of course we do, however it’s generally even worse. Take all the expectations you have of the people in your life, all of your deepest wishes and the things you avoid, can’t stand and hope never come forward. Take everything you hold against life and this will give you a good idea of your filters, or the blocks, to your ability to perceive life clearly.

When you seek to work with life and the purpose it has for you, you must open. For many this is considered advanced work because most people have too many filters to perceive clearly. Perceiving clearly begins with our putting our biases and our attachments aside so that we can listen despite ourselves. It also a deep knowing that life holds much greater wisdom so that we can relinquish our control and allow another power to direct us.

So, simply put, we can become aware of life’s plan for us our purpose when we are open, receptive and listening without filters.

At this point, the next question then becomes, how does life having a plan for us jive with our being here to fulfill our dreams? What happens when we dream of one thing but life seems to be taking us in a different direction? Watching the movie, “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior” and the book by the same title, written by Dan Millman, has been pivotal for me. I had been living on autopilot for so long and didn’t realize it. The book and movie helped me to see that and has taught me to re-train myself. The study of scared sexuality, Tantra, & Taoist sexuality & yoga has the same effect for me. Being present in each moment, experiencing life as it comes, while still holding the visions of what I want to accomplish is a journey. This is the main thing I have learned through all of the seeking I have been doing. It IS the journey. That is what life is and it behooves us to embrace that fact rather than try to fight against it.

As I become more “enlightened” to myself, my relationship with God, and my dharma/purpose of life, I become more aligned with God’s plan for me. I do not believe we have the dreams we have without the possibility of these things coming to fruition. I believe it is our responsibility to quiet our mind so we can hear ourselves and God speaking. Meditation and prayer. This is the only way I have been able to know what comes next.


Say Good-Bye to Self-Sabotage and Open Your Arms to Abundance

Those who live in harmony with themselves
live in harmony with the universe.
Marcus Aurelius

Of the many factors that shape our lives — geographical location, family dynamics, resources and influence, beliefs, self-concept, support systems, motivation, relationships, luck, karma or fate — our sense of self-worth is the single most important determinant of the health, abundance, and joywe allow into our life.

To the degree we doubt our worthiness, we limit or sabotage our efforts, and undermine our relationships, finances or health. Ever wondered, for example, why so many young actors, who gain sudden wealth, fame, and celebrity, go on to self-destruct with drugs and erratic behavior? Or why many able-bodied people live on the streets, reduced to begging for spare change. Or why some people continue to accept abusive mates or undesirable work conditions?

Once we understand the lessons of self-worth, we are in a better position to help such people — but first we must help ourselves. So, as we proceed, note the following points:

No one else can give you an improved sense of self worth. Self-worth comes from doing what is worthy.

This session is about discovering your worth, not raising it. Your innate worth has never been lowered, compromised, or touched by fate or circumstance. It exists as a fact of life, like air and trees, and doesn’t need to be raised, revitalized, or earned.

To make this topic relevant to your own life, let’s start with —

Self-Reflection on Self-Worth
Consider the following questions, and answer “Yes,” “No,” or “Sometimes.”

  • When fortune smiles on you, do you think, “This can’t last?”
  • Do you find it easier or more ‘natural’ to give than to receive?
  • Does your life feel like a series of problems?
  • Does money seem scarce or hard to come by?
  • Do you find your work or relationships unfulfilling?
  • Do you work long hours and lack leisure time?
  • Do you resent or envy people who take frequent holidays?
  • Do you feel driven to work more, do more, be more than others?
  • Do you overeat “comfort” food, smoke, drink alcohol daily, or use other drugs?
  • Do you feel uncomfortable when you receive praise, applause, lots of attention, gifts or pleasure?
  • Have you turned down or passed up opportunities in education, work, or relationships and later regretted it?
  • Do you seem to get sick or injured more than other people?
  • If someone asks the cost of your services, do you price yourself lower than others in your field to be “fair”?

If you answered “Yes” to a number of questions, did these circumstances or situations just happen to you solely through bad luck? Or is it possible that the choices you made, and actions you took, led to where you are? By acknowledging your role and responsibility in your current life, you find the power to make different choices.

That is not to say that someone who is robbed at gunpoint or run into by a drunk driver somehow “attracted” or “drew” such experiences due to low self-worth — such ideas are superstition or magical thinking.

But when we make choices that lead to difficulties, it is worth understanding in this context. For example, if you were abused as a child, the abuser was responsible — not you. But if you are abused as an adult (say by a troubled spouse), the abuse itself is not your responsibility — but the choice to stay with that person may point to low-self worth. (This session is not about blame, but it is about acknowledging our role or responsibility, which leads to the power to change.)

By the end of this lesson, you will be better equipped to give yourself the compassion and respect that you would give to your best friend. Discovering your unconditional worth can help you expand fully into the world. It begins with a first step — awareness of the problem is the beginning of the solution.

Taking Charge by Taking Responsibility
Sometimes bad things just happen — a toss of the karmic dice: a hurricane or freak storm, or earthquake or other natural disaster — we may become a victim of circumstance. We can only make the best of those circumstances and learn from them and grow stronger.

But much of the time, our lives are shaped by the choices we ourselves make, and the actions we take. So if life isn’t going well, ask yourself this question: “Who’s doing this to me?” If the answer is “someone else” — if your boss or spouse or partner or another person appears to be the cause of your suffering — then ask yourself, “Who chose to be around this person? Who chose this job. Did I truly have no other options? Or do I believe that ‘beggars can’t be choosers’?”

Maybe it’s time to take another look.

We end self-sabotage only by taking responsibility for the choices and actions that created it. Only when we stop blaming our boss, the government, our parents, spouse or partner, children, circumstances, fate or God can we change our lives and say with conviction, “I chose where I am and who I’m with, and I can make other choices.”

Taking responsibility has nothing to do with blame or finding fault. Rather, taking responsibility is taking control, because it represents the power-moment when we recognize the degree to which our difficulties are self-generated, and that what we created, we can also change.

The Heart of Self-Worth
We don’t always get what we deserve in life; we get what we believe we deserve. So the problem is not your actual worth, but your perceived worth. Most of us have lost touch with our intrinsic goodness — our courage and humanity — allowed our worth to be covered over by memories of a thousand transgressions, real or imagined, so that we feel only partly deserving of life’s blessings.

Ask yourself: “How deserving am I?” Then give a numerical rating, somewhere between 1 to 100, based on how deserving you believe you are. Come up with whatever rating feels right and true for you. 60? 70? 80? 90? 95? Why?

Bear in mind that you have been subconsciously rating yourself since childhood. Now we bring it into the light, and consider how this self-perception has shaped your choices and your experiences.

Our sense of self-worth (or deservedness) comes from many influences, beginning in our early years — how we were treated by parents or other caregivers (as judgments placed upon us by others become internalized). Abused children, as well as people from stable and loving households, but with extremely high standards, may both grow up with self-worth issues. The source of self-worth issues is complex, and does not come exclusively from how well or poorly we behaved.

But whatever the reasons or sources for your internalized level of worth, the purpose of this week’s session is to draw it up from the depths and into the light of awareness.

Self-Worth and Self-Sabotage
As I’ve noted, self-worth is a subconscious self-assessment of your perceived value, goodness, and deservedness. You allow yourself to receive only those people, experiences and blessings that reflect your sense of worth.

Success involves talent, effort, and creativity. But first and foremost, it requires a willingness to receive. As the saint Ramakrishna once said, “Rain or blessings may pour down from the heavens, but if you only hold up a thimble, a thimbleful is all you receive.”

The Choices You Make: The central theme of self-worth is that you subconsciously choose (or allow into your life) the level of people and experiences (both positive and negative) that you believe you deserve. Until you come to realize that life is full of cactus, but you don’t have to sit on it.

In any moment, you are free to choose the high road, by being kind to others, working hard, finding supportive partners, and following good role models. Or you may burn bridges, use drugs or alcohol, or choose destructive relationships. Through your choices, your sense of self-worth influences whether you choose to learn easy lessons or more difficult ones, to strive or to struggle.

These choices are not conscious. We don’t wake up one morning and say to ourselves, “I think I’ll sabotage my relationship today — oh, no, I already did that last week; today I’ll sabotage my finances.”

Some of us get in our own way and block success or abundance — we start but don’t finish that schooling or training that leads to a better career opportunity. Or we experience great success but self-sabotage, self-destruct, or don’t allow ourselves to ride the wave and enjoy it in perspective.

Looking back on your life, have you wondered, Why did I say that? Why did I do that? Have friends or loved ones advised against a choice or action, but you did it anyway because you just felt you had to? Now you understand the source, and can finally get out of your own way, and make more positive, empowering choices and to take actions to build a new life — whether in the realm of exercise, diet, rest and recreation, travel, improved working conditions, more education or training for a better income — the world opens up to you.

Your Innate and Unconditional Worth
Coming to appreciate your innate worth has nothing to do with entitlement or putting yourself above others. Rather it involves a basic recognition of your essential value as a human being — realizing that you have done the best you could and made the best choices you could see at a given point in your life. More important, unconditional worth does not have to be earned; it belongs to you just as it did when you were a young child.

Let’s say someone invited you in to gaze upon their newborn child or month-old infant. Most of us would gaze into that infant’s wide eyes and rate it 100 on the deservedness scale. You were that child once. When did you start subtracting, and why? Because you made mistakes? Said unkind things? Weren’t always respectful or kind? Had slips of integrity? (Well, if you were already perfected, you wouldn’t be living on this planet!)

Each of us is a H.I.T. — a human-in-training. It’s time you recognize that you’ve done the best you could each day of your life, taking into account your own baggage, information, limitations, wounds, and struggles. You made the best choices you could see at the time. And now the time has come to appreciate your innate worth and choose the higher roads of life.

The Power of Grace
Even when you don’t feel very kind, or brave, or deserving, the roof over your head continues to shelter you from storms, the sun shines upon you, your chairs keep supporting you, and so does your life. Life itself is an unearned gift. This is the hidden meaning of grace.

If you have debts to pay, then pay, then pay them forward in the currency of kindness to others — not by punishing yourself. Not ever again. It is not necessary. It never has been.

At the end of this session you’ll find a link to a discussion group. By clicking on that link, you can respond to the lesson, answer the questions, read the comments and interact with others who have also taken this course. Remember, the discussions that happens after the lesson may be just as important as the lesson itself so please utilize this link.

Daily Life Assignments:
(1) Remind Yourself: Write out the following words on a post-it, or piece of paper, and post it on your bathroom mirror so you see it each and every day: How good can I stand it today? (Because that’s how much good you’ll allow)

(2) Just Imagine: Let your imagination drift to a better life. Fantasize yourself as the star of a new movie of your life. You no longer have to be an extra or bit player, being told by others where to go and what you can or can’t do. In this exercise you become the director, the writer, and the star.

  • Imagine, just for a moment, how specifically you might have an improved relationship (it may be with your current partner, but with some different elements); or, if it is a troubled relationship, then with another partner.
  • Now do the same in the workplace — your current work, or another career or calling. What kind of work situation might you wish for?
  • Let your mind drift to another area of life — what possibilities might await you there?

For any and all of these areas:

  • Is it possible to draw closer to your dreams? Why or why not?
  • What steps might you take?
  • Who is stopping you? (If the answer is “me,” then this “me” can instead become a friend and supporter.)

Most of us have been our own “worst enemy” sometime in the past. Can you recall a choice you have made or action taken that you now see as a subconscious act of self-sabotage? What will you do to avoid such sabotage in the future?

How have you responded to favors, gifts, or opportunities? How might you respond differently now? What advice might you give yourself, as your own best friend, about allowing yourself to live a more abundant, enjoyable life?

Important Note: As you will come to better grasp in our coming sessions, you do not have to generate feelings of self-worth or deservedness — you only need to treat yourself that way, to behave as if you are worth 100 on the scale of worth.

In other words, the next time an opportunity arises that might interest you, or someone offers to give you something or do something for you — instead of the reactive, “Oh, thanks, but I couldn’t” open your arms and heart and mind, and say, “Yes! Thank you!” (Even if you don’t feel deserving.)

When you are alone, in quiet moments — as odd as it may feel — every once in a while, open your arms wide and say to an imagined person, or to life itself: “Yes! Thank you!” And let this be your approach to living — from now on. Dan Millman, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior