The Questioner Asks

what is Tantra“The questioner asks: ‘What is tantric sex…a sex which is a meditation based on certain techniques?’

“If you are too technique oriented you will miss the mystery of Tantra. It is pseudo-Tantra that is based on techniques because if techniques are there, ego will be there, controlling. Then you will be doing it – and doing is the problem, doing brings the doer.

Tantra has to be a non-doing; it can not be technical. You can learn techniques – you can learn a certain breathing so that coitus can become longer. If you breathe very, very slowly, if you breathe without any hurry, then coitus will become longer, but you are controlling. It will not be wild and it will not be innocent, and it will not be meditation either. It will be mind – how can it be meditation? The mind will be controlling. You cannot even breathe fast, you have to keep your breathing slow – if the breathing is slow then ejaculation will take a longer time, because for ejaculation to happen the breathing has to be fast and chaotic. Now, this is technique but not Tantra.


And now, back to my regularly scheduled program

I meltIf you have followed my blog for any length of time, you know I often write about sex. The big taboo…SEX. None of us would exist without it. We are driven for the experience of it after food, water & shelter. And for some, even before those basic needs.  In that light, I want to share with you a post from one of the facebook groups I am in. Usually I am ALL about the spiritual aspect of sex and the energy, the Kundalini energy, that defines it. This particular post is about the G-Spot. I know I’ve posted about this particular spot in the past and some may find this information redundant, however, it is a topic that keeps coming up over & over & over. I hope you enjoy this article as much as I have.

Ever the pleasure seeker ~ SensualBlissVoyager aka lantanagurl 🙂

The Mystery of The G-Spot

At almost every talk we give, regardless of the topic, someone asks about the G-Spot.
At almost every workshop, regardless of the topic, someone asks about the G-Spot.

The question is asked by both men and women.
Do I have one, does she have one?
I’ve been rooting around inside myself, her, for hours and haven’t found anything.
I’ve read the articles on the web, in the magazines, in the books, still can’t find anything.
I’m sure only some women have it, because I definitely DON’T!

You do.
You all do.
There are just a few things they don’t tell you.

Let’s look first, or feel first, couldn’t resist, at what the G-Spot is.
In the world of Tantra this is called the Goddess Spot.
Because the pleasure possibilities take you to place of Elevated, Heightened Pleasure, a place beyond what we think pleasure is, a place where the Goddess experiences herself.

The G-Spot is a gland.
It has about 40 ducts that create fluids linked to your fertility, your hormone balance and fluid that you can ejaculate.
It’s being seen on ultrasound, it’s being found in dissection.
And beyond that, it’s palpable for you to feel, it’s unmistakable!
Which makes you think, where has it been, how could it have been missed?

If all this is the case, which it is, why do so many women, and their partner’s, struggle to find this?

Because, and this is what so few of the articles tell you, it’s linked to your past, to your beliefs about sex, to the inhibitions you have, to the negative, painful, unfulfilled sexual and emotional experiences you’ve had.
All of those things, all the times in life you’ve been made to feel less than, not good enough, every time you’ve given your self, your power away in a way that has not been for you.
That sits in the tissues of your G-Spot.

Every time you’ve been touched in a way that has not been an expression of love.
That sits in the tissues of your G-Spot.
Every time you’ve felt guilty about pleasure.
That sits in the tissues of your G-Spot.
Every time you’ve felt shameful, dirty or embarrassed about your body, about your sexuality, about your desire.
That sits in the tissues of your G-Spot.

You can feel for this for hours, as many people do.
You might feel something physical in terms of structure inside your yoni.
And for so many, it’s numb, tender or even painful.
So despite feeling the gland, if there’s no pleasure, what’s the point?
And if there’s no pleasure, then I don’t have a G-Spot.

Learning to physically find this is only the first step.
Releasing what’s there is what allows the pleasure.

And what pleasure!!!orgasm
G-Spot Orgasms, Deep Uterine Orgasms, Blended Orgasms, Waves of Bliss, Ejaculation, Sexual Meditative States…

So why is this important, beyond the pleasure?
Because most women can have, in some way, fingers, tongues, vibrators, clitoral orgasms. Which on any given day are nice, ok, wonderful, amazing…

Firstly it is about the pleasure.
An increase in pleasure that’s hard to describe until you’ve experienced it.

Then it’s about power.
Your power as woman.
This is a portal to the State of a Goddess.
For in the release you claim yourself.
You claim your pleasure.
You free yourself from the limitations of the past. From the inhibitions, the guilt, the shame, the embarrassment, the repression, the lack of self expression etc.

Then it’s about spirituality.
For the higher and deeper states of pleasure are doorways to spiritual experiences, higher states of consciousness, meditative states and more.

And it’s also about creativity.
For your sexual energy and your creative energy are one and the same. When the energy flows, you have the power, the resources, to create your life, your relationships, your world, the way you would like it to be.

One of the principles of Conscious Sexuality is using our sexual energy for more than just pleasure. Building and harnessing that energy, directing the power, accessing more of ourselves…

Releasing the blockages, the patterns of the past, what we’ve become, is the first step on the journey of be-coming.
Creating who we’d like to be, the lives we’d like to live.

cosmic sexAnd when we do this with the energy of pleasure, the possibilities are endless…

If you’d like a practical guide to finding your, or her G-Spot, please send us an email, we’ll happily share that with you.
Please remember that often that’s the first step on this wonderful journey into your pleasure.
Much of the work we do with women is about awakening these pathways and opening the door to more of yourself.

We wish you so much pleasure..
Jonti & Anne-Marie

Booking is essential for all workshops, please contact Jonti:
or phone: 083 743 5129

Saturday 8 December 12pm
Tantric & Sensual Massage Workshop

A practical journey for couples, into the exciting pleasures of Sensual Massage. The workshop includes the principles of Sensual Touch and Massage, Energy Connection Massage, The Heart Touch, Bliss Body Massage, Building the Sexual Fire and Full Body
Sensual Massage.
R2000 per couple

Our friend and fellow tantrika, Rohan Reddy is putting together an event called “Tantragasm” for more info on this exciting happening, click on the link below
(note ADULT content on following site)

Tantra Evolution – Jonti Searll

The Tantra Secret Of Male Multiple Orgasms

Male multiple orgasms are an elusive treasure that most men spend their entire lives chasing without ever attaining it. In fact, there is absolutely no reason why multiple orgasms in men should be shrouded in such mystery. Tantra holds the key to this much sought-after concept – and no, it is not a secret jealously guarded by some fundamentalist tantra teacher. In fact, the boundary between any man and his ability to have multiple climaxes is simply one of misconception and lack of training.

The simple fact is that men are born multiple-orgasmic. Most boys have in fact experienced multiple orgasms many times before they reach their teens. The reason why they are able to experience this is because they have not yet achieved the ability to ejaculate. The first explorations of their sexuality begin without any bias towards the need to produce a spoonful of fluid. In that sense, their experiences are closer to the truth than that of most adult males.

Ejaculation does NOT equal orgasm (as many men know first-hand). Not does orgasm necessarily equal ejaculation. Ejaculation is merely a reflex action of the genitals which comes after a certain sequence of feeling-spurred actions. Because of age-old conditioning, this purely muscular reflex is seen as the zenith and epitome of male sexual pleasure.

However, the fact is that a man can experience multiple orgasms simply by understanding the concept fully, and abandoning certain stubborn preconceptions. Since ejaculation and orgasm is not the same thing, it is possible for a man to experience a series of climaxes without ejaculating. It is a matter of training and mind control – not of sexual prowess. And there is certainly nothing mystical about it.

Yes, it is true – by studying tantra under an experienced tantra teacher, it is possible for any man to become multi-orgasmic. When this happens, the celestial dance of love between man and woman can truly begin. Woman is multiple-orgasmic for the simple reason that her climax is not correlated with an ejaculatory reflex. When her man also sheds this limitation and discovers his true sexual potential, he truly becomes her equal – and her divine consort. He is then able to worship his tantra goddess from a level ground.

“If a man has intercourse once without spilling his seed, his vital essence is strengthened. If he does this twice, his vision and hearing are made clearer. If three times, his physical illnesses will begin to disappear. The fourth time he will begin to feel inner peace. The fifth time his blood will circulate powerfully. The sixth time his genitals will gain new prowess. By the seventh his thighs and buttock (muscles and meridians) will become firm. The eighth time his entire body will radiate good health. The ninth time his life-span will be increased.”~ Canon of Taoist Wisdom

The Male Ejaculation Mastery Technique

Before you begin any self-pleasuring session make sure that you have at least half an hour to yourself and that you are comfortable, preferably fully naked! It is recommended that you practice on yourself  for a while before attempting to use it during intercourse.

As already mentioned, orgasm and ejaculation are two completely separate bodily functions and you need to learn to separate them. Relating to a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 equates to non-arousal and 10 to ejaculation, you need to find a number which relates to you that is just below the point of no return. For most men this will be between 7 and 8.

Now take some deep long relaxation breaths. This will help to relax you as well as help you connect to your body. Inhale in and out through your nostrils. Ensure you take deep breaths, each time feeling the breath in your abdomen (allow your belly to push out as you inhale and fall as you exhale).  Allow your breathing to slow down naturally. Note, how much more relaxed you are feeling. Try to maintain this type of breathing throughout your entire self-pleasuring experience. However, if you do forget to breathe in this way just do it when you catch yourself forgetting!

Begin to arouse yourself…..try and use a variety of touch and massage strokes not only on your lingam but also on other parts of your body, the key here is to experiment and learn what and where feels good to you.  It’s also nice to use lubricant as this helps to enhance sensation and if it feels good make the sounds that give one feedback as to how good it feels.

Once you’ve massaged yourself to your magic number, stop massaging, or doing what it was that got you to this level, and immediately begin the breathing that you were doing when you first started (if you forgot that is), use the inhale to  move the sensations away from your groin and up into your chest and into the rest of your body, make sure you exhale fully at each breath. In addition, while still doing this breathing, you can also pull down on your testicles or do “kegel exercises” to keep you from ejaculating.

Once the feeling has subsided, you can continue what you were doing….try to not allow your energy level to drop too much though before continuing.

Keep repeating this for as long as you wish or as long as time as allows. You will notice that each time you raise your sexual energy you will achieve increasingly greater levels of pleasure each time until you reach a point at which you absolutely have to ejaculate……at this point, go for it. As you ejaculate make sound as this will allow you to continue to ejaculate for as long as you are making sound. However, you do have a choice, and if you decide that you want to retain you ejaculate, then you might want to try this technique.

When, you’ve peaked for the last time, instead of doing the deep breathing as before, this time take in a deep breath. At the same time tighten your muscles in your perineum and anus, touch your tongue to the roof of your mouth and look upward to your forehead.  Hold all these activities for as long as you can before releasing it. When you do release it, however, just let the breath totally go. If your body starts spasming, don’t be afraid, just enjoy these sensations as all this is your built-up sexual energy releasing into your body….you are experiencing what Tantrics call Full Body Orgasm.

Copyright 2007-2012. Tantra for Life. All rights reserved.

What is the Delayed Ejaculation Mastery technique?

Delayed Ejaculation is a practice employed by Tantric men. It is a foundation technique for men and one that requires practice both alone and also with a partner to master it.

This technique is not for everybody, but for those who are willing to do their homework it does have its benefits. As with everything it does require regular practice and there are some men who will be able to master this fairly quickly and others for whom it may take considerable time but the older you are the easier it becomes. Not only that, if you like challenges this technique will change and evolve the more you practice it since you will notice subtle differences in your experience with it.

So what’s so special about this? Why should I practice this? Well because the result can be literally mind-blowing as you can extend your orgasm for not just minutes but for hours depending on how well you know your body….which is why practice is required.

How is this achieved? Quite simply you have to differentiate between orgasm and ejaculation. They are 2 distinct bodily functions and part of your practice is to differentiate between the two as it happens in your body. Normally to achieve ejaculation you allow your sexual energy to rise to a peak (orgasm) or the point of “no return”, at which point you will ejaculate.

By being aware of this point of “no return” you will be able to slow down and by using breath and by staying present by learning to “let go” as opposed to “control” you can learn to delay your ejaculation by moving this energy through your body (and allow you to experience what Tantrics know as full body orgasm). By raising and lowering your sexual energy in this manner during your practice you can literally achieve a higher level of ecstasy, each time experiencing orgasm (i.e. experiencing multiple orgasms) and then ejaculate when you chose, (and it could be after a period of minutes, hours or even days).

So it sounds like it’s a good technique but why should I do it when I already experience great sex. Because, it will teach you to know yourself better, improve your self-esteem as a person, as well as a lover, give you a greater zest for life, improve your vitality, help keep you younger, and increase the connection between yourself, your lover and others. But all in all, you will feel better about yourself in every aspect of your life.

Copyright © 2006, Tantra for Life. All rights reserved.