Dude Hits it Right on The Head (nail head that is)

Sex 3.0

I’m reading JJ Robert’s book, Sex 3.0 – A Sexual Revolution Manual. I listened to his videos. There are five and they are only 10 minutes each. Once I started watched the first one, I was hooked! He most definitely had me at hello.

I write alot about sex. I write about it because there is so  much misconception about an act that is truly as natural as eating, drinking and sleeping. There is so much mystery and taboo shrouding the topic. As a child of the Sexual Revolution of the 60’s & 70’s, I was intrigued by JJ’s title. What??? There’s yet another revolution? After reading JJ’s book, I’m inclined to think we merely started the revolution decades ago and now we are actually in the throes of said revolution.

I like being on the cutting edge. If there’s a new restaurant in town, I’m one of the first to eat there. If there is a road as yet untraveled in my city, you can bet I’ll be going down it. New software? Yep I need that:) However, I am also a traditionalist in some ways and I hold on to things that have long passed their usefulness. That is what the whole marriage paradigm had been for me until I realized one day that I simply do not believe in marriage any longer and haven’t since my last divorce over 15 years ago. I’m not jaded. I’m not cynical. I am most definitely a realist and from what I see all around me, most people don’t really hold to the sanctity of marriage any longer either. Have you seen the divorce rate stats lately? And how about the number of co-habitating couples? There’s a new way to do relationships and it is a return to the way things were before man laid claim to women as their “Property”.

In JJ’s book & videos he discusses Sex 1.0, 2.0, and finally 3.0. He speaks about the evolution of relationships. I encourage everyone to read his book and watch his videos. Very enlightening. His topic is one I have been researching myself for the past few years. Not on the grand scale that he did, but researching nonetheless. There are several groups on facebook dealing with sexuality. There is the Jujumama crowd and they were just a bit too forceful in their tactics for me. I felt like their philosophy was being shoved down my throat by their leader. Maybe it’s because she seems to be more in a yang energy than I enjoy. And there are many many Tantra groups. Most of those groups didn’t address what I was looking for either.  JJ on the other hand has articulated the essence of my thinking and he has done it quite well.

It wasn’t as easy for me to leave the 2.0 paradigm as I had wanted it to be. Even now I struggle with possessiveness & jealousy. I do, however, see those two demons becoming a thing of the past much sooner than previously expected. And that is a good thing.

I really do enjoy living in relationships that do not have fences. I love the freedom. Mr. Current Lover once told me that I am the frees-est person he knows. I’m happy he thinks so 🙂

Love Huts

Among the Kreung tribe in a remote part of northeast Cambodia, parents build a love hut for their daughter to prepare her for marriage. She then initiates sex with different male suitors until she finds one she wants to marry. In this tribe, marriage is the woman’s choice — an idea that’s very modern in Cambodia.

Women taking charge in Cambodia

In northeast Cambodia’s Ratanakiri province, dwell a people with a unique practice. At the age of 15, parents build their daughters tiny ‘love huts’ a short distance away from their home so that the girls can begin to experiment with sex with boys. The Kreung people are very big on female empowerment; a trait which I admire. For them, having girls and women set the rules about sex instead of male religious/political/social figures helps create independent young women and also, helps the girls make their own choices about their potential spouses.

At first I was concerned about many things, among them unplanned pregnancy, STDs, sexual violence and promiscuity. But the girls and their families seem to have it all under control. The girls choose which boys they want to have sex with.

“When a boy comes to stay the night, if I don’t want him to touch me, he won’t. We’ll just talk and sleep. But if I have a special boyfriend and we’re in love, then I’ll be intimate with him. If I stop loving him and find another boy I’m more attracted to, I will stop having sex with the first one.” – Nang Chan, 17

Luckily, Kreung society is such that the elders have taught the boys to respect the opposite sex. Parents do not generally give their children advice about sex but trust that they have instilled enough morals in their children so that they make the right choices. Nongovernmental organizations have begun to spread the news about condoms and the girls say that the boys are usually responsible about wearing them.

New concerns have been raised however, about the effect that American media is having on the boys. The once-shy lads have become arrogant and sometimes violent, copying the things they have learned from watching pornography and the way sex is portrayed between American men and women on tv. Many wonder if this unique tradition will survive the ‘onslaught of modern culture’ but are content with the current state of things. The focus seems to be on female empowerment.

Perhaps American parents should take a leaf from the book of the Kreung but still keep in mind that both societies are different and that there are boundaries that must be set. Talking about sex might not be the easiest thing to do, but it prevents situations where teens have to hide their sexual activity. Taking birth control pills from your daughter does not guarantee that she will not have sex. Talking on the other hand, fosters trust and mutual understanding.