Dude Hits it Right on The Head (nail head that is)

Sex 3.0

I’m reading JJ Robert’s book, Sex 3.0 – A Sexual Revolution Manual. I listened to his videos. There are five and they are only 10 minutes each. Once I started watched the first one, I was hooked! He most definitely had me at hello.

I write alot about sex. I write about it because there is so  much misconception about an act that is truly as natural as eating, drinking and sleeping. There is so much mystery and taboo shrouding the topic. As a child of the Sexual Revolution of the 60’s & 70’s, I was intrigued by JJ’s title. What??? There’s yet another revolution? After reading JJ’s book, I’m inclined to think we merely started the revolution decades ago and now we are actually in the throes of said revolution.

I like being on the cutting edge. If there’s a new restaurant in town, I’m one of the first to eat there. If there is a road as yet untraveled in my city, you can bet I’ll be going down it. New software? Yep I need that:) However, I am also a traditionalist in some ways and I hold on to things that have long passed their usefulness. That is what the whole marriage paradigm had been for me until I realized one day that I simply do not believe in marriage any longer and haven’t since my last divorce over 15 years ago. I’m not jaded. I’m not cynical. I am most definitely a realist and from what I see all around me, most people don’t really hold to the sanctity of marriage any longer either. Have you seen the divorce rate stats lately? And how about the number of co-habitating couples? There’s a new way to do relationships and it is a return to the way things were before man laid claim to women as their “Property”.

In JJ’s book & videos he discusses Sex 1.0, 2.0, and finally 3.0. He speaks about the evolution of relationships. I encourage everyone to read his book and watch his videos. Very enlightening. His topic is one I have been researching myself for the past few years. Not on the grand scale that he did, but researching nonetheless. There are several groups on facebook dealing with sexuality. There is the Jujumama crowd and they were just a bit too forceful in their tactics for me. I felt like their philosophy was being shoved down my throat by their leader. Maybe it’s because she seems to be more in a yang energy than I enjoy. And there are many many Tantra groups. Most of those groups didn’t address what I was looking for either.  JJ on the other hand has articulated the essence of my thinking and he has done it quite well.

It wasn’t as easy for me to leave the 2.0 paradigm as I had wanted it to be. Even now I struggle with possessiveness & jealousy. I do, however, see those two demons becoming a thing of the past much sooner than previously expected. And that is a good thing.

I really do enjoy living in relationships that do not have fences. I love the freedom. Mr. Current Lover once told me that I am the frees-est person he knows. I’m happy he thinks so 🙂

Tantra is the Natural Way To God

“Tantra is the natural way to God, the normal way to God. The object is to become so completely instinctual, so mindless, that we merge with ultimate nature – that the woman disappears and becomes a door for the ultimate, the man disappears and becomes a door for the ultimate. 

“This is the tantric definition of our sexuality: the return to absolute innocence, absolute oneness. The greatest sexua

l thrill of all is not a search for thrills, but a silent waiting – utterly relaxed, utterly mindless. One is conscious, conscious only of being conscious. One is consciousness. One is contented but there is no content to it. And then there is great beauty, great benediction,

Osho

The Questioner Asks

“The questioner asks: ‘What is tantric sex…a sex which is a meditation based on certain techniques?’

“If you are too technique oriented you will miss the mystery of Tantra. It is pseudo-Tantra that is based on techniques because if techniques are there, ego will be there, controlling. Then you will be doing it – and doing is the problem, doing brings the doer.

Tantra has to be a non-doing; it can not be technical. You can learn techniques – you can learn a certain breathing so that coitus can become longer. If you breathe very, very slowly, if you breathe without any hurry, then coitus will become longer, but you are controlling. It will not be wild and it will not be innocent, and it will not be meditation either. It will be mind – how can it be meditation? The mind will be controlling. You cannot even breathe fast, you have to keep your breathing slow – if the breathing is slow then ejaculation will take a longer time, because for ejaculation to happen the breathing has to be fast and chaotic. Now, this is technique but not Tantra.

osho

And now, back to my regularly scheduled program

If you have followed my blog for any length of time, you know I often write about sex. The big taboo…SEX. None of us would exist without it. We are driven for the experience of it after food, water & shelter. And for some, even before those basic needs.  In that light, I want to share with you a post from one of the facebook groups I am in. Usually I am ALL about the spiritual aspect of sex and the energy, the Kundalini energy, that defines it. This particular post is about the G-Spot. I know I’ve posted about this particular spot in the past and some may find this information redundant, however, it is a topic that keeps coming up over & over & over. I hope you enjoy this article as much as I have.

Ever the pleasure seeker ~ SensualBlissVoyager aka lantanagurl 🙂

The Mystery of The G-Spot

At almost every talk we give, regardless of the topic, someone asks about the G-Spot.
At almost every workshop, regardless of the topic, someone asks about the G-Spot.

The question is asked by both men and women.
Do I have one, does she have one?
I’ve been rooting around inside myself, her, for hours and haven’t found anything.
I’ve read the articles on the web, in the magazines, in the books, still can’t find anything.
I’m sure only some women have it, because I definitely DON’T!

You do.
You all do.
There are just a few things they don’t tell you.

Let’s look first, or feel first, couldn’t resist, at what the G-Spot is.
In the world of Tantra this is called the Goddess Spot.
Because the pleasure possibilities take you to place of Elevated, Heightened Pleasure, a place beyond what we think pleasure is, a place where the Goddess experiences herself.

The G-Spot is a gland.
It has about 40 ducts that create fluids linked to your fertility, your hormone balance and fluid that you can ejaculate.
It’s a VERY DEFINITE PHYSICAL STRUCTURE.
It’s being seen on ultrasound, it’s being found in dissection.
And beyond that, it’s palpable for you to feel, it’s unmistakable!
Which makes you think, where has it been, how could it have been missed?

If all this is the case, which it is, why do so many women, and their partner’s, struggle to find this?

Because, and this is what so few of the articles tell you, it’s linked to your past, to your beliefs about sex, to the inhibitions you have, to the negative, painful, unfulfilled sexual and emotional experiences you’ve had.
All of those things, all the times in life you’ve been made to feel less than, not good enough, every time you’ve given your self, your power away in a way that has not been for you.
That sits in the tissues of your G-Spot.

Every time you’ve been touched in a way that has not been an expression of love.
That sits in the tissues of your G-Spot.
Every time you’ve felt guilty about pleasure.
That sits in the tissues of your G-Spot.
Every time you’ve felt shameful, dirty or embarrassed about your body, about your sexuality, about your desire.
That sits in the tissues of your G-Spot.

You can feel for this for hours, as many people do.
You might feel something physical in terms of structure inside your yoni.
And for so many, it’s numb, tender or even painful.
So despite feeling the gland, if there’s no pleasure, what’s the point?
And if there’s no pleasure, then I don’t have a G-Spot.

Learning to physically find this is only the first step.
Releasing what’s there is what allows the pleasure.

And what pleasure!!!
G-Spot Orgasms, Deep Uterine Orgasms, Blended Orgasms, Waves of Bliss, Ejaculation, Sexual Meditative States…

So why is this important, beyond the pleasure?
Because most women can have, in some way, fingers, tongues, vibrators, clitoral orgasms. Which on any given day are nice, ok, wonderful, amazing…

Firstly it is about the pleasure.
An increase in pleasure that’s hard to describe until you’ve experienced it.

Then it’s about power.
Your power as woman.
This is a portal to the State of a Goddess.
For in the release you claim yourself.
You claim your pleasure.
You free yourself from the limitations of the past. From the inhibitions, the guilt, the shame, the embarrassment, the repression, the lack of self expression etc.

Then it’s about spirituality.
For the higher and deeper states of pleasure are doorways to spiritual experiences, higher states of consciousness, meditative states and more.

And it’s also about creativity.
For your sexual energy and your creative energy are one and the same. When the energy flows, you have the power, the resources, to create your life, your relationships, your world, the way you would like it to be.

One of the principles of Conscious Sexuality is using our sexual energy for more than just pleasure. Building and harnessing that energy, directing the power, accessing more of ourselves…

Releasing the blockages, the patterns of the past, what we’ve become, is the first step on the journey of be-coming.
Creating who we’d like to be, the lives we’d like to live.

And when we do this with the energy of pleasure, the possibilities are endless…

If you’d like a practical guide to finding your, or her G-Spot, please send us an email, we’ll happily share that with you.
Please remember that often that’s the first step on this wonderful journey into your pleasure.
Much of the work we do with women is about awakening these pathways and opening the door to more of yourself.

We wish you so much pleasure..
Jonti & Anne-Marie

Booking is essential for all workshops, please contact Jonti:
jontisearll@mweb.co.za
or phone: 083 743 5129
www.tantraevolution.com

JOHANNESBURG WORKSHOPS
Saturday 8 December 12pm
Tantric & Sensual Massage Workshop

A practical journey for couples, into the exciting pleasures of Sensual Massage. The workshop includes the principles of Sensual Touch and Massage, Energy Connection Massage, The Heart Touch, Bliss Body Massage, Building the Sexual Fire and Full Body
Sensual Massage.
R2000 per couple

Our friend and fellow tantrika, Rohan Reddy is putting together an event called “Tantragasm” for more info on this exciting happening, click on the link below

http://www.facebook.com/events/331340396973615/

www.tantraevolution.com
www.tantraevolution.wordpress.com
(note ADULT content on following site)
www.sensualmassagetantraevolution.tumblr.com
www.tantraevolution.tumblr.com

Tantra Evolution – Jonti Searll

I am a priestess devoted to Love

“My body is the temple, where flesh and Spirit unite.

Dance is my prayer.

Enter my temple and be loved a thousand and one ways.

Within the sanctuary of my heart, only Love dwells.

I am a vessel of abundance, infinite dreams.

I am a priestess devoted to Love ~ with my body and every breath…”

~ Jehan

Women Experience Sexual Frustration, Too

As we enter into the twenty-first century, gender norms and attitudes towards how men and women should behave are changing for the better. In most cases we’ve done away with rigid stereotypes that dictate how a man or a woman should behave. We’ve learned to see masculinity and femininity as fluid characteristics, that don’t necessarily correspond to gender. In the same vein of thinking, sexual frustration is no longer something that only affects men. Women are now free to express their sexual needs in order to prevent feelings of sexual frustration.

Throughout history, women have been taught to stifle their sense of sexuality in order to appear respectable, pure, and desirable in a man’s eyes. For women this meant resisting sex when it was offered and never expressing an outright desire to have sex. It was considered unthinkable that a woman would experience sexual frustration, because sex was always centered around the male. Men had ‘uncontrollable’ sexual urges and it was a woman’s fault if she tempted a man into action. Today, there is still something of a misconception that men have greater libidos and sex drives as compared to women.

Your sex drive is affected by a number of factors. Firstly, there are hormones circulating in your body that determine how you feel, sexually. For women, hormone levels fluctuate along with the menstrual cycle. Therefore, how amorous a woman feels at any given time depends on where she is in her cycle.

Of course, there are other factors that can greatly affect libido, especially for women. Emotionally traumatic events, such as the death of someone close to you, a particularly nasty breakup, or stress at work can all have serve to dampen or light your sense of sexual desire. In addition, mood disorders such as depression or bipolar disorder can also cause both increases and decreases in libido. Another fairly obvious factor in determining libido or sexual desire is how connected the woman feels to the person she is sexual with. There are a great number of things that can affect a woman’s desire for sex.

Sexual frustration can occur in conjunction with any of the aforementioned lifestyle changes. The change might be totally obvious, or it might be difficult to recognize why you feel the way you do. It might be difficult to communicate the change to your partner, if you have a certain routine. Perhaps you want sex more and your partner isn’t interested in increasing frequency. If that’s the case, you’re likely to experience some sexual frustration.

If that is the case the best thing to do is discuss how you feel with your partner. We are lucky to live in an era where it is okay

for women to express their sexual needs. Sexual frustration can be addressed through honest discussions that don’t center on rigid gender roles, such as what a woman should feel or what a man should feel. Being honest and open is the best way to address a problem if you have one. If you want to feel sexually satisfied, the best thing to do is have a conversation about your needs.

In addition to communication with your partner, energy healing methods such as Chakra Healing can dramatically improve your sex life by getting to the root of the issue and eliminating the cause of the problem.

 

 

 

 

guest post from Mindvalley http://www.mindvalley.com/

Orgasmic Meditation….New to me!

I came across new information today while researching orgasm. I wasn’t surprised to hear that so many woman do not experience an orgasm while having sex, especially when many men fail to take the time to truly explore a woman’s body in the first place. It has been my experience that many men are simply focused on achieving their own orgasm & do not appear to give one thought to his partner.

The attached video is full of useful information and one day soon I hope to have such an experience myself…now to find the partner:)

http://onetaste.us/welcome.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2RzAvKGX3Y

After watching this, I would love it if my readers would let me know what they think, please. I value all of your inputs & I read every single comment made.

Namaste

10 Surprising Facts About Orgasms

Learn everything you never knew about climaxing

Psst—you over there! Don’t be shy…orgasms are as much a part of women’s health as dental floss—but a lot more fun. For all the things you’ve been dying to find out as well as things you’ve never even thought of, expand your knowledge about the “big O” with this list of enlightening facts.

 

1. Orgasms can relieve pain.
Got a headache? Maybe you should have sex after all. “There is some evidence that orgasms can relieve all kinds of pain—including pain from arthritis, pain after surgery and even pain during childbirth,” notes Lisa Stern, RN, MSN, a nurse practitioner who works with Planned Parenthood in Los Angeles and blogs at Gynfizz.com. “The mechanism is largely due to the body’s release of a chemical called oxytocin during orgasm,” she says. “Oxytocin facilitates bonding, relaxation and other positive emotional states.” While the pain relief from orgasm is short-lived—usually only about eight to 10 minutes—she points to past research indicating that even thinking about sex can help alleviate pain.

2. Condom use doesn’t affect orgasm quality.
In case you’re wondering if a condom has anything to do with the quality of your orgasm, don’t. “Women are equally likely to experience orgasm with or without a condom, dispelling myths that condoms don’t make for good sex,” says Debby Herbenick, PhD, a research scientist at Indiana University and author of Because It Feels Good. “In fact, condoms may help a couple spend more time having sex, as a man doesn’t have to ‘pull out’ quickly if he’s worried about ejaculating too soon,” she says. If your guy is resistant to wearing a condom because of lack of sensation, consider manual stimulation first, before intercourse, so he can have an equally enjoyable experience.

3. Thirty percent of women have trouble reaching orgasm.
If you’ve ever had trouble climaxing, you’re not alone. According to Planned Parenthood statistics, as many as 1 in 3 women have trouble reaching orgasm when having sex. And as many as 80 percent of women have difficulty with orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone. Clitoral stimulation during intercourse can help, says Stern, but so can medical treatment. “Female sexual dysfunction (FSD), which encompasses the inability to orgasm, is very common—as high as 43 percent, according to some surveys—and has been a topic of much debate and medical investigation lately,” she says. “For some women, topical testosterone therapies or some oral medications can be helpful, but few medical treatments have solid evidence behind them.” Because FSD may be associated with certain medical conditions, be sure to see your doctor to rule out things like thyroid disease, depression or diabetes.

4. Finding your G-spot may improve the likelihood of orgasm.
Can you identify your G-spot? The “G” refers to Ernst Gräfenberg, MD, a German gynecologist who is credited with “discovering” it in the 1950s, and sex experts have long touted this area of female genitalia, which is believed to contain a large number of nerve endings, as the key to helping women achieve longer and stronger orgasm. But it’s a controversial topic. Researchers in England refuted its existence recently, even after Italian researchers supposedly found the spot on ultrasound and published their findings in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. Still, sex educators like Los Angeles–based Ava Cadell support the existence of the G-spot, and encourage women to find theirs. While the location may be slightly different in all women, it’s most often found inside the vagina and is characterized by a “rougher” texture.

5. Orgasm gets better with age.
Sure, there are plenty of things to gripe about when it comes to age, but your sex life may actually improve—specifically the quality and frequency of orgasm, reports Dr. Herbenick. “Orgasm becomes easier with age,” she says. “As an example, while 61 percent of women ages 18 to 24 experienced orgasm the last time they had sex, 65 percent of women in their 30s did and about 70 percent of women in their 40s and 50s did.” Though the survey didn’t indicate why orgasms come easier with age, we can assume that as women become more sexually experienced, they have more confidence in the bedroom and therefore enjoy themselves more. Additionally, the trust and intimacy that most women experience in long-term relationships can help improve sexual confidence as well.

6. Women who mix things up in the bedroom have more frequent orgasm.
If you have trouble reaching orgasm during intercourse, consider switching things up, says Dr. Herbenick. “It is significantly easier for women to experience orgasm when they engage in a variety of sex acts as opposed to just one act,” she says. “For example, vaginal sex plus oral sex would be linked to a higher likelihood of orgasm than either one of them alone. This may be because more sex acts mean that people spend more time having sex.”

7. A woman’s sexual self-esteem can affect the quality of her orgasms.
Research shows that how a woman feels about her genitals is linked to the quality of her orgasms. “As a women’s health clinician, I can vouch for the fact that every vagina looks different and there is no ‘perfect’ way for a vagina to look,” says Stern. “As long as your vagina is pain-free and you don’t have any abnormal discharge, sores or other medical problems, you can consider yourself healthy and normal.” Increase your orgasm potential by increasing your confidence, she says. “It’s important to treat yourself the way you would want others to treat you—send yourself healthy, positive messages about yourself and your body.” Another trick: Pull out a hand mirror and take a look! Getting to know yourself down there is the first step in feeling confident about your parts.

8. There is an orgasm “gap.”
While it’s true that a small number of men have trouble with orgasm, sex experts report that it’s rare. Instead, a significant percentage of women report not having had an orgasm the last time they had sex, even when their male partner thought they had. “We still have an orgasm gap,” notes Dr. Herbenick. “While 85 percent of men thought their partner had an orgasm during their most recent episode of sex, only 64 percent of women reported having an orgasm.” The cure? It’s complicated, says Dr. Herbenick, but women who are comfortable with and understand their body’s pleasure points can often learn to orgasm regularly.

9. In rare cases, orgasm can happen without genital stimulation.
We’ve all heard about women who can orgasm while sitting on a train or while getting a massage, but it’s no urban legend. Experts say it’s a real phenomenon. “I had a friend who had an orgasm every time she used the treadmill,” says Stern. “If that happened to all of us, we’d be a much more physically fit society!” But, humor aside, there’s an explanation for why this occurs. “The reason for spontaneous orgasms during certain activities is twofold—increased blood flow to the genitals and vibration of or contact with the clitoris. The increased blood flow and the general relaxation of a massage can lead to orgasm sometimes, too.”

10. For most women, it takes a while…
Many women take longer to climax than their male partners, and that’s perfectly normal, says Stern. In fact, according to statistics, most women require at least 20 minutes of sexual activity to climax. “If you find that your partner often reaches orgasm before you do, there are ways to help him slow down,” she says. “Mental exercises can sometimes work, and so can firm pressure around the base of the penis. If premature ejaculation is a concern, your partner may want to see a primary care doctor or urologist to find some techniques that might help.”

Sarah Jio is the health and fitness blogger for Glamour.com. Visit her blog, Vitamin G.

Imbalance in The Sacral or Sex Chakra

Svadhaswara is the seat of sexual desire, pleasure and nurturing. The sacred art of tantra is a sexual art intended to use the energy created during orgasm to propel Kundalini energy up the spine to inspire instant bliss and enlightenment. This practice remains highly misunderstood, and has been used in a number of books and myths to be more about sexual pleasure than spirituality; none-the-less, the ability to give and receive sexual pleasure, or pleasure in general, does have its home in the sacral chakra.

What is so important about being able to experience pleasure and give it to others? Well, for one, it is an act of openness and self-affirmation. For another thing, it is extremely conducive to caring and intimacy. Just think what it would be like to have a partner who never experienced pleasure or allowed you to pleasure them. This would create a huge barrier and imbalance in any relationship.

Unfortunately, this problem is all too common. It stems from a closed sacral, or second chakra, and it can be healed through continued intimacy, counseling, meditation and yoga. Often, this is caused by sexual shame, too much guilt, and a number of unhealthy or unacceptable experiences, during youth or at other times in life.

What if, on the other hand, your partner is detached, selfish, overly intense, manipulative, or, becomes too attached and dependent, and only shows affection in a sexual manner? This is a sign of excess in the sacral chakra, and is just as much an imbalance and barrier to love and nurturing. In both cases, meditations and exercises can bring more balance and harmony to the individual and the relationship, helping us learn how to set normal sexual boundaries, allow our own gratification, and care for others, at the same time.

Boundaries are, as matter of fact, a perfect example of what the sacral chakra is really all about. Our natural boundaries are not meant to be emotional blockades or walls barring us from trust and communion with others. Rather, they are a symbol of emotional well-being, self-love and respect for ourselves and others. When the sacral chakra is blocked or imbalanced, however, we either lack the ability to tell others no, or we overuse the ability to a point of loneliness and isolation.

Those who have a problem in the svadhisthana center commonly act as martyrs; over-giving, denying themselves certain foods, sexual gratification, even compliments and love from others. They can also be very promiscuous and pass over true emotional attachment and connection for the more shallow or temporary satisfaction of sex. They may have many partners, and certainly experience a high number of fast and tumultuous relationships.

The favored color of this energy center is orange and simply working more with it and incorporating it into everyday items or surroundings is an excellent strategy for beginning to heal and balance it. Those who have such issues tend to be fond of the color, or, at least some shades of it. There is no reason to use bright orange, as more muted, electric, or darker shades work just as well.

The seed mantra for svadhisthana is vam and can be chanted or sung during focus on the sex center, during meditation, while holding a hand mudra, or while practicing one of the following Yoga postures:

Triangle: Stand with the legs wider than hip width apart, facing the hips forward and holding the arms straight out to the sides. Draw the muscles of the legs up, bend at the hip to the right, letting the right hand come down on the knee, shin or floor, depending on flexibility. Hold the pose and breath deeply into the stretch in the inner thighs. Chant vam and focus on the sacral chakra. Straighten and then repeat to the left.

Cobra: Lay on the floor with the hands under the shoulders. Straighten the legs out behind you, feet together. Rest the chin on the mat or floor. Using primarily the muscles in the back, lift the head, neck, shoulders and chest off of the floor, using the hands for support only. Keep the pelvis, hips, lower abdomen and legs pressed into the floor. Hold for ten deep breaths, release, rest and repeat.

Find out if your sex chakra is opened or closed by taking a free chakra test here

If the result is positive, check out Carol Tuttle’s blogpost about ways to open the Sacral Chakra

To our dear Sacred Masculine:

We women live for you, just as much as you live for us. We know we are the most important thing in your life, and bring color, emotion, joy, and challenge, plus all the erotic goodies you love. You bring us your desire and the potential of ecstasy, steadfastness, support, protection and such happiness when we feel special to you. You give us the sparkle in our eyes when we are in love. It’s you, dearest Men ! We love you passionately with our hearts and souls. Just the thought of desiring you lights up our hearts!

We women are striving to re-discover our passion, creativity, and natural desire as we remove judgment and labeling of our sexuality. We long to meet you more fully, including the deliciousness of your lust, and request that you meet us in learning everything we can together about a fuller ecstasy from deep connection at the heart. We ask that you learn along with us, to sense the myriad of energies between our bodies, and open to allow a greater ecstasy.

We reach beyond the boundaries of an outdated system that destroyed sex between us. Women were not taught that men’s sexual needs deserved to be honored. As a result, you often felt starved, and we gave up on sex for many reasons.

We promise to open up and teach you what our feminine sexuality is all about, as we shed thousands of years of shame and guilt. Our throat energies have been dormant from being shut down by violence, but are opening again as we heal, and our ability to speak returns. These beautiful ancient mysteries of lovemaking are returning to us, and we are finding the courage to share them with you.

Please ask us to flow our heart energies into your open hearts, and embrace us with hugs and cuddling. This makes us feel the most wanted and desired. These energies will heal you, too. Our passion builds when this heart energy is shared, and with this fulfillment, we may offer to indulge ourselves by taking care of your needs perhaps even before you ask!

We cherish you, our wonderful masculine partners in ecstasy, and look forward to the awakening energies of love with you!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kari-Stars-Amazing-Adventures-in-Cosmic-Sex/181148161951650