Dude Hits it Right on The Head (nail head that is)

Sex 3.0

I’m reading JJ Robert’s book, Sex 3.0 – A Sexual Revolution Manual. I listened to his videos. There are five and they are only 10 minutes each. Once I started watched the first one, I was hooked! He most definitely had me at hello.

I write alot about sex. I write about it because there is so  much misconception about an act that is truly as natural as eating, drinking and sleeping. There is so much mystery and taboo shrouding the topic. As a child of the Sexual Revolution of the 60’s & 70’s, I was intrigued by JJ’s title. What??? There’s yet another revolution? After reading JJ’s book, I’m inclined to think we merely started the revolution decades ago and now we are actually in the throes of said revolution.

I like being on the cutting edge. If there’s a new restaurant in town, I’m one of the first to eat there. If there is a road as yet untraveled in my city, you can bet I’ll be going down it. New software? Yep I need that:) However, I am also a traditionalist in some ways and I hold on to things that have long passed their usefulness. That is what the whole marriage paradigm had been for me until I realized one day that I simply do not believe in marriage any longer and haven’t since my last divorce over 15 years ago. I’m not jaded. I’m not cynical. I am most definitely a realist and from what I see all around me, most people don’t really hold to the sanctity of marriage any longer either. Have you seen the divorce rate stats lately? And how about the number of co-habitating couples? There’s a new way to do relationships and it is a return to the way things were before man laid claim to women as their “Property”.

In JJ’s book & videos he discusses Sex 1.0, 2.0, and finally 3.0. He speaks about the evolution of relationships. I encourage everyone to read his book and watch his videos. Very enlightening. His topic is one I have been researching myself for the past few years. Not on the grand scale that he did, but researching nonetheless. There are several groups on facebook dealing with sexuality. There is the Jujumama crowd and they were just a bit too forceful in their tactics for me. I felt like their philosophy was being shoved down my throat by their leader. Maybe it’s because she seems to be more in a yang energy than I enjoy. And there are many many Tantra groups. Most of those groups didn’t address what I was looking for either.  JJ on the other hand has articulated the essence of my thinking and he has done it quite well.

It wasn’t as easy for me to leave the 2.0 paradigm as I had wanted it to be. Even now I struggle with possessiveness & jealousy. I do, however, see those two demons becoming a thing of the past much sooner than previously expected. And that is a good thing.

I really do enjoy living in relationships that do not have fences. I love the freedom. Mr. Current Lover once told me that I am the frees-est person he knows. I’m happy he thinks so 🙂

The Questioner Asks

what is Tantra“The questioner asks: ‘What is tantric sex…a sex which is a meditation based on certain techniques?’

“If you are too technique oriented you will miss the mystery of Tantra. It is pseudo-Tantra that is based on techniques because if techniques are there, ego will be there, controlling. Then you will be doing it – and doing is the problem, doing brings the doer.

Tantra has to be a non-doing; it can not be technical. You can learn techniques – you can learn a certain breathing so that coitus can become longer. If you breathe very, very slowly, if you breathe without any hurry, then coitus will become longer, but you are controlling. It will not be wild and it will not be innocent, and it will not be meditation either. It will be mind – how can it be meditation? The mind will be controlling. You cannot even breathe fast, you have to keep your breathing slow – if the breathing is slow then ejaculation will take a longer time, because for ejaculation to happen the breathing has to be fast and chaotic. Now, this is technique but not Tantra.

osho

SURRENDER

Surrender

Surrender

“Before I understood how to open with you, I tried giving you orgasms so I knew I was a good lover. But now, all I want is your surrender. I want your heart’s pleasure to ripple through your open body and saturate my life with your love. Your body’s openness to love’s flow draws me into you, and through your heart’s surrender I am opened to the love that lives as the universe. Whether you have an orgasm or not while we make love, your body’s trust and devotional openness is my secret doorway to love’s deepest bliss.”

David Deida Quotes

And now, back to my regularly scheduled program

I meltIf you have followed my blog for any length of time, you know I often write about sex. The big taboo…SEX. None of us would exist without it. We are driven for the experience of it after food, water & shelter. And for some, even before those basic needs.  In that light, I want to share with you a post from one of the facebook groups I am in. Usually I am ALL about the spiritual aspect of sex and the energy, the Kundalini energy, that defines it. This particular post is about the G-Spot. I know I’ve posted about this particular spot in the past and some may find this information redundant, however, it is a topic that keeps coming up over & over & over. I hope you enjoy this article as much as I have.

Ever the pleasure seeker ~ SensualBlissVoyager aka lantanagurl 🙂

The Mystery of The G-Spot

At almost every talk we give, regardless of the topic, someone asks about the G-Spot.
At almost every workshop, regardless of the topic, someone asks about the G-Spot.

The question is asked by both men and women.
Do I have one, does she have one?
I’ve been rooting around inside myself, her, for hours and haven’t found anything.
I’ve read the articles on the web, in the magazines, in the books, still can’t find anything.
I’m sure only some women have it, because I definitely DON’T!

You do.
You all do.
There are just a few things they don’t tell you.

Let’s look first, or feel first, couldn’t resist, at what the G-Spot is.
In the world of Tantra this is called the Goddess Spot.
Because the pleasure possibilities take you to place of Elevated, Heightened Pleasure, a place beyond what we think pleasure is, a place where the Goddess experiences herself.

The G-Spot is a gland.
It has about 40 ducts that create fluids linked to your fertility, your hormone balance and fluid that you can ejaculate.
It’s a VERY DEFINITE PHYSICAL STRUCTURE.
It’s being seen on ultrasound, it’s being found in dissection.
And beyond that, it’s palpable for you to feel, it’s unmistakable!
Which makes you think, where has it been, how could it have been missed?

If all this is the case, which it is, why do so many women, and their partner’s, struggle to find this?

Because, and this is what so few of the articles tell you, it’s linked to your past, to your beliefs about sex, to the inhibitions you have, to the negative, painful, unfulfilled sexual and emotional experiences you’ve had.
All of those things, all the times in life you’ve been made to feel less than, not good enough, every time you’ve given your self, your power away in a way that has not been for you.
That sits in the tissues of your G-Spot.

Every time you’ve been touched in a way that has not been an expression of love.
That sits in the tissues of your G-Spot.
Every time you’ve felt guilty about pleasure.
That sits in the tissues of your G-Spot.
Every time you’ve felt shameful, dirty or embarrassed about your body, about your sexuality, about your desire.
That sits in the tissues of your G-Spot.

You can feel for this for hours, as many people do.
You might feel something physical in terms of structure inside your yoni.
And for so many, it’s numb, tender or even painful.
So despite feeling the gland, if there’s no pleasure, what’s the point?
And if there’s no pleasure, then I don’t have a G-Spot.

Learning to physically find this is only the first step.
Releasing what’s there is what allows the pleasure.

And what pleasure!!!orgasm
G-Spot Orgasms, Deep Uterine Orgasms, Blended Orgasms, Waves of Bliss, Ejaculation, Sexual Meditative States…

So why is this important, beyond the pleasure?
Because most women can have, in some way, fingers, tongues, vibrators, clitoral orgasms. Which on any given day are nice, ok, wonderful, amazing…

Firstly it is about the pleasure.
An increase in pleasure that’s hard to describe until you’ve experienced it.

Then it’s about power.
Your power as woman.
This is a portal to the State of a Goddess.
For in the release you claim yourself.
You claim your pleasure.
You free yourself from the limitations of the past. From the inhibitions, the guilt, the shame, the embarrassment, the repression, the lack of self expression etc.

Then it’s about spirituality.
For the higher and deeper states of pleasure are doorways to spiritual experiences, higher states of consciousness, meditative states and more.

And it’s also about creativity.
For your sexual energy and your creative energy are one and the same. When the energy flows, you have the power, the resources, to create your life, your relationships, your world, the way you would like it to be.

One of the principles of Conscious Sexuality is using our sexual energy for more than just pleasure. Building and harnessing that energy, directing the power, accessing more of ourselves…

Releasing the blockages, the patterns of the past, what we’ve become, is the first step on the journey of be-coming.
Creating who we’d like to be, the lives we’d like to live.

cosmic sexAnd when we do this with the energy of pleasure, the possibilities are endless…

If you’d like a practical guide to finding your, or her G-Spot, please send us an email, we’ll happily share that with you.
Please remember that often that’s the first step on this wonderful journey into your pleasure.
Much of the work we do with women is about awakening these pathways and opening the door to more of yourself.

We wish you so much pleasure..
Jonti & Anne-Marie

Booking is essential for all workshops, please contact Jonti:
jontisearll@mweb.co.za
or phone: 083 743 5129
www.tantraevolution.com

JOHANNESBURG WORKSHOPS
Saturday 8 December 12pm
Tantric & Sensual Massage Workshop

A practical journey for couples, into the exciting pleasures of Sensual Massage. The workshop includes the principles of Sensual Touch and Massage, Energy Connection Massage, The Heart Touch, Bliss Body Massage, Building the Sexual Fire and Full Body
Sensual Massage.
R2000 per couple

Our friend and fellow tantrika, Rohan Reddy is putting together an event called “Tantragasm” for more info on this exciting happening, click on the link below

http://www.facebook.com/events/331340396973615/

www.tantraevolution.com
www.tantraevolution.wordpress.com
(note ADULT content on following site)
www.sensualmassagetantraevolution.tumblr.com
www.tantraevolution.tumblr.com

Tantra Evolution – Jonti Searll

Orgasmic Meditation….New to me!

I came across new information today while researching orgasm. I wasn’t surprised to hear that so many woman do not experience an orgasm while having sex, especially when many men fail to take the time to truly explore a woman’s body in the first place. It has been my experience that many men are simply focused on achieving their own orgasm & do not appear to give one thought to his partner.

The attached video is full of useful information and one day soon I hope to have such an experience myself…now to find the partner:)

http://onetaste.us/welcome.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2RzAvKGX3Y

After watching this, I would love it if my readers would let me know what they think, please. I value all of your inputs & I read every single comment made.

Namaste

Tantra is not for sex, tantra is to transcend

Tantra is a basically different approach. Tantra says that unless you can enjoy yourself you cannot help anyone to enjoy. Unless you are really contented with yourself, you cannot serve others; you cannot help others toward their contentment. Unless you are overflowing with your own bliss you are a danger to society, because a person who sacrifices always becomes a sadist. If your mother goes on talking to you and says that “I have sacrificed myself for you,” she will torture you. If the husband goes on saying to the wife that “I am sacrificing,” he will be a sadistic torturer. He will torture because sacrifice is just a trick to torture the other.

So those who are always sacrificing are very dangerous – potentially dangerous. Be aware of them, and do not sacrifice. The very word is ugly. Enjoy yourself; be bliss-filled. And when you are overflowing with your own bliss, that bliss will reach to others also. But that is not a sacrifice. No one is obliged to you; no one needs to thank you. Rather, you will feel grateful to others because they have been participating in your bliss. Words like ′sacrifice′, ′duty′, ′service′ are ugly; they are violent. Tantra says that unless you are filled with light, how can you help others to be enlightened?

Be selfish, only then can you be altruistic. Otherwise the whole concept of altruism is nonsense. Be happy; only then can you help others to be happy. If you are sad, unhappy, bitter, you are going to be violent with others and you will create misery for others.

You may become a Mahatma, a so-called great saint; that is not very difficult. But look at your Mahatmas. They are trying in every way to torture everyone who comes to them, but their torturing is very deceptive. They torture you for your own sake; they torture you for your own good. And because they are torturing themselves you cannot say to them, “you are preaching something to us which you are not practicing.” They are already practicing it. They are torturing themselves; now they can torture you. And when a torture is for your own good, that is the most dangerous torture: you cannot escape it.

And what is wrong with enjoying yourself? What is wrong in being happy? If there is anything wrong it is always in your unhappiness, because an unhappy person creates ripples of unhappiness all around him. Be happy! And the sex act, the act of love, can be one of the deepest means through which bliss can be attained.

Tantra is not teaching sexuality. It is simply saying that sex can be a source of bliss. And once you know that bliss, you can go further because now you are grounded in reality. One is not to remain with sex forever, but you can use sex as a jumping point. That is what tantra means: you can use sex as a jumping point. And once you have known the ecstasy of sex, you can understand what mystics have been talking about – a greater orgasm, a cosmic orgasm.

Meera is dancing. You cannot understand her; you cannot even understand her songs. They are sexual; their symbology is sexual. This is bound to be because in human life the sex act is the only act in which you come to feel a non-duality, in which you come to feel a deep oneness, in which the past disappears and the future disappears and only the present moment – the only real moment – remains. So all those mystics who have really known oneness with the divine, oneness with existence itself, they have always used sexual terms and symbols for their experience to express it. There is no other symbology; there is no other symbology which comes near to it.

Sex is just the beginning, not the end. But if you miss the beginning, you will miss the end also, and you cannot escape the beginning to reach the end.

Tantra says take life naturally; do not be unreal. Sex is there as a deep possibility, a great potentiality. Use it! And what is wrong in being happy in it? Really, all moralities are against happiness. Someone is happy, and you feel something has gone wrong. When someone is sad, everything is okay. We live in a neurotic society where everyone is sad. When you are sad, everyone is happy because everyone can sympathize with you. When you are happy, everyone is at a loss. What to do with you? When someone sympathizes with you, look at his face. The face gleams; a subtle shining comes to the face. He is happy sympathizing. If you are happy, then there is no possibility for this. Your happiness creates sadness in others; your unhappiness creates happiness. This is neurosis! The very foundation seems to be mad.

Tantra says be real, be authentic to yourself. Your happiness is not bad; it is good. It is not sin! Only sadness is sin, only to be miserable is sin. To be happy is virtue because a happy person will not create unhappiness for others. Only a happy person can be a ground for others′ happiness.

Secondly, when I say that tantra is neither moral nor immoral I mean that tantra is basically a science. It looks at you, at what you are. It means that tantra is not trying to transform you, but it actually does transform you through reality. The difference between magic and science is the same as between morality and tantra. Magic also tries to transform things simply through words, without knowing the reality. The magician can say that now the rains will stop; he cannot really stop them. Or he can say that rains will come – but he cannot start them, he can just go on using words. Sometimes coincidences will be there, and then he will feel powerful. And if the thing is not going to happen according to his magic prophecy he can always say, “What has gone wrong?” That possibility is always hidden in his profession. With magic everything starts with “if.” He can say, “If everyone is good, virtuous, then the rains will come on a particular day.” If the rains come it is okay; if the rains are not coming then “everyone is not virtuous, there is someone who is a sinner”.

Even in this century, the twentieth century, a person like Mahatma Gandhi could say, when there was famine in Bihar, “It is because of the sin of the people living in Bihar that the famine has come” – as if the whole world is not sinning, only Bihar! Magic starts with “if,” and that “if” is great and big.

Science never starts with “if” because science first tries to know what is real – what reality is, what the real is. Once the real is known it can be transformed. Once you know what electricity is, it can be changed, transformed, used. A magician does not know what electricity is. Without knowing electricity, he is going to transform, he is thinking to transform! Those kind of prophecies are just false – illusions.

Morality is just like magic. It goes on talking about the perfect man, and without knowing what man is – the real man. The perfect man remains as a dream. It is used just to condemn the real man. Man never reaches it.
Tantra is science. Tantra says first know what the reality is, what man is, and don′t create values and don′t create ideals right now: first know what is. Do not think of the “ought”; just think of the “is.” And once the “is” is known, then you change it. Then you have the secret.

For example, tantra says do not try to go against sex, because if you go against sex and try to create a state of Brahmacharya – celibacy, purity, it is impossible. It is just magical. Without knowing what sex energy is, without knowing of what sex is constituted, without going deep into the reality of it, the secrets of it, you can create an ideal of Brahmacharya. Then what will you do? You will simply suppress. And a person who is suppressing sex is more sexual than a person who is indulging in it because through indulgence the energy is released. Through suppression it is there, moving in your system continuously.

A person who suppresses sex starts seeing sex everywhere. Everything becomes sexual. Not that everything is sexual, but now he projects. Now he projects! His own hidden energy is now projected. Everywhere he will look he will see sex, and because he is condemning himself he will start condemning everyone.

You cannot find a moralist who is not violently condemning. He is condemning everyone; to him everyone is wrong. Then he feels good, his ego is fulfilled. Why is everyone wrong? Because he sees everywhere the same thing he is suppressing. His own mind will become more and more sexual, and more and more he will be afraid. This Brahmacharya is perversion, it is unnatural. A different quality, a different type of Brahmacharya, happens to the follower of tantra, but the very process is totally, diametrically opposite. Tantra first teaches how to move in sex, how to know it, how to feel it, how to come to the deepest possibility hidden in it, to the climax, how to find the essential beauty, the essential happiness and bliss that is hidden there.

Three Elements

Once you know that secret you can transcend it because, really, in a deep sexual orgasm it is not sex which gives you bliss, it is something else. Sex is just a situation. Something else is giving you the euphoria, the ecstasy. That something else can be divided into three elements. But when I speak about those elements, do not think that you can understand them just from my words. They must become part of your experience. As concepts they are useless. Because of three basic elements in sex you come to a blissful moment.

Those three are, firstly, timelessness: you transcend time completely. There is no time. You forget time completely; time ceases for you. Not that time ceases, it ceases for you; you are not in it. There is no past, no future. In this very moment, here and now, the whole existence is concentrated. This moment becomes the only real moment. If you can make this moment the only real moment without sex, then there is no need of sex. Through meditation it happens.

Secondly, in sex for the first time you lose your ego, you become egoless. So all those who are very much egoistic, they are all always against sex, because in sex they have to lose their egos. You are not, nor is there the other. You and your beloved are both lost into something else. A new reality evolves, a new unit comes into existence in which the old two are lost – completely lost. The ego is afraid. You are no more there. If without sex you can come to a moment when you are not, then there is no need of it.

And thirdly, in sex you are natural for the first time. The unreal is lost, the faces, the facades are lost; the society, the culture, the civilization, is lost. You are a part of nature. As trees are, as animals are, as stars are, you are a part of nature. You are in a greater something – the cosmos, the Tao. You are floating in it. You cannot even swim in it; you are not. You are just floating – being taken by the current.

These three things give you the ecstasy. Sex is just a situation in which it happens naturally. Once you know and once you can feel these elements, you can create these elements independently of sex. All meditation is essentially the experience of sex without sex, but you have to go through it. It must become part of your experience, not just be there as concepts, ideas, thoughts.

Tantra is not for sex, tantra is to transcend. But you can transcend only through experience – existential experience – not through ideology. Only through tantra does Brahmacharya happen. This looks paradoxical, but it is not. Only through knowledge does transcendence happen. Ignorance cannot help you towards transcendence; it can only help you towards hypocrisy.

Author: OSHO

Tantric Lovemaking and Intimacy

Tantra is a spiritual science from ancient India and in its basic essence, very similar to Taoism from China. Both involve balancing the male and female energies to create harmony and have an ultimate goal of unity or spiritual ecstasy, known as enlightenment. Tantra encourages one to explore every aspect of life. So obviously the study of sexuality was included, not only included but in fact revered.

Making love was seen as a gift to God. So there was no repression or guilt attached to sex. It taught that when a man approaches his beloved he should have a sacred feeling as if he were going into a temple. The art of sexual love was the noblest of arts to study. As a young person in ancient India you could go to the sacred temples and be taught lovemaking secrets by Darkas and Darkinis, the priests and priestesses of love. The study of sexuality in the west is very new, whereas relics of Tantric rituals date back nearly five thousand years. So there is an incredible wealth of knowledge we can draw on and use in our own lovemaking.

Tantric lovemaking can add to the ways you make love in three major areas: Firstly: It gives you ways to reach heightened states of ecstasy and pleasure beyond the realms of normal sex.

Secondly, it teaches you ways to open to more love so that your heart opens even more to your partner and you remember how great it feels to be deeply, passionately “in love.”

Thirdly, it teaches Sacred Sex — ways to transform your lovemaking into a sacred experience which will touch you on every level of your being, body, heart and soul.

A male can increase and expand the amount of ecstasy he can have and at the same time increase the length of time he is able to make love so that his partner has a chance of reaching higher states. Ejaculation control is an essential skill to master so that during lovemaking, instead of ejaculating at the first peak of energy which a lot of men do, they can learn instead to peak with that energy and use techniques to spread that energy throughout the entire body. Then as the urgency for ejaculation subsides, continue to make love again until reaching another peak – much higher than the first peak and then he can use techniques to peak and spread the energy again. As he Continues to do this, reaching higher and higher peaks of ecstasy and at the same time his beloved is feeling that energy and is being warmed up to higher orgasmic states.

In Taoist sexuality writings they say, the woman is like water and the man is like fire. What normally happens is the water puts out the fire too quickly, the man is left exhausted and the woman is frustrated. They say there are in fact nine levels of a woman’s orgasm, nine levels that she goes through before she’s fully nourished sexually before her Shakti, her sexual spiritual energy is fully awakened. Most women have their first orgasm at level four; the man ejaculates and the other five levels are rarely reached. We as conscious men, as extraordinary lovers need to be able to make love as long as necessary to satisfy our woman and at the same time reach higher orgasmic states ourselves.

There are two exercises, two techniques that will help with ejaculation control. One is P.C. Muscle exercises and the other is the breath.

These exercises are also beneficial for women to extend their orgasmic response, taking more pleasure for herself and to give more pleasure to her partner. The P.C. muscle is the major muscle of contraction in both sexes for orgasm, so strengthening it increases sensations of pleasure.

The P.C. muscle extends from the base of the spine where it is connected to the coccyx, to the front of the body where it is connected to the pubic bone.

A good way to locate the P.C. or love muscle for yourself is that next time you are urinating try to stop the flow of urination in mid stream. This will give you the feeling of activating the muscle. Then later on in your own private space practice tensing and releasing the muscle several times so that you get the sense of how to do it you can know. It is a good idea to incorporate these P.C. Muscle exercises into your daily routine, associating them with some particular activity you do independent of your lovemaking sessions. Then these exercises will become habitual and you won’t have to set aside a special time to practice. For example you can practice while you drive or travel too and from work. No one will know you are doing it and it can be quite enjoyable. One of our friends in fact, Helen said she started doing this every day for a month while driving to work but unfortunately she had to stop because she said the sensations were getting so strong that she couldn’t concentrate at work because she couldn’t think about anything else at work other than sex and she couldn’t wait to get home to her lover.

And once a man has a strong P/C he can spread the sexual energy up and through his body during lovemaking so he can experience wave after wave of peak pleasure without coming so that he can make love for as long as he chooses, maybe even hours!

Another secret is working with your breath. What most men do as excitement builds up is hold their breath as they get close to climax. If men are to reverse the flow of sexual energy the best way is to breathe slowly, deeply and rhythmically.

For women to enhance your own ecstasy you can us the P.C. Muscle and breath exercise also. You can do this at peaks of energy to spread the orgasmic energy throughout the body. Another way you can enhance your pleasure is to mentally trace or visualize the energy running up the inside of the legs through the calf, the knees and thighs up into the vagina. This is especially good to do if the mind is wondering off onto other things while making love; it helps focus the energy.

Some women need to focus it rather than to spread it and this can amplify the orgasmic response you already have and is especially good for women who find orgasm elusive. What you do is to keep squeezing the P.C. Muscles without spreading the energy. To squeeze the muscles and to feel the charge building up and keep squeezing the P.C. again. It is important to release and bear down as well; this also acts as a focus. Playing with these elements of breath, P.C. Muscle, visualization, as well as movement and sound you can extend your orgasmic potential to one, two, three or even more orgasms. All women are capable of extending their orgasmic potential. The woman’s Shakti is unlimited. The Shakti is the sexual spiritual energy of which women are the custodians. As the Shakti awakens so does the priestess, the healer, the empowerer and the goddess of love within.

A woman’s sexual awakening can propel her on a spiritual path. Men may practice celibacy and achieve spiritual enlightenment, but according to the Tantric texts women’s enlightenment is facilitated by the electric charge of her orgasmic nature.

The next important element is the heart. A lot of people have coined the term, ‘Making love’ whenever they have sex but to me making love is a higher vibration a unique blending of your sexual passion, the heat of your genitals with the deep love and intimacy you feel in your heart. Men who are able to feel their love and share their deep feelings will never have any shortage of women in their lives. The challenge becomes how much love and deep intimacy both partners can bring into lovemaking and a great secret for you to know is the way to a woman’s sexuality opening up, the way to her shakti, her sacred place is through the heart. So how can we bring more intimacy into our lovemaking, more heart connection?

Well one way to create more intimacy is through eye contact, we often shut our eyes while making love and go into our own space which can be really nice of course, but to be more intimate look at your beloved a lot more while making love. Your eyes are the window to the soul, look into each other’s eyes and tell each other how much you love each other, how much you enjoy being with them, how precious they are to you and that’s the second thing you can do to create more intimacy. Talk to your beloved while making love. Tell them what your thoughts are: “I love you. Your fragrance is like jasmine/musk, you make me feel so good.” This is very powerful to create more intimacy.

Another thing you can incorporate into your lovemaking for more intimacy is romance. Romance is an important ingredient to encourage intimacy, an atmosphere of romance is always conducive to higher lovemaking experiences and women dearly love it. So in creating the atmosphere see yourself as a great lover and let your creative self step out of the ordinary and create something out of the ordinary and create something magical, something extraordinary.

You can include things like creating a special time where everything else is left looked after, a special time where you won’t be interrupted and a special space for making love. Maybe not even in the bedroom, maybe going to a different place altogether but make it very special. Prepare the room and prepare each other, bathe together, towel each other down. Use things like massage, candle light, incense, special treats to eat and drink, romance is foreplay to a woman and brings a male in touch with his softer side.

So as a man if you want more lovemaking you then learn to be more intimate because the way to a woman’s sacred place, the way to her yoni is through the heart – through intimacy. Intimacy means In-To-Me-See. Allow yourself to be seen, create more intimacy, and allow your inner feelings to be expressed.

Women can interpret any lack of intimacy as coldness and the colder she feels you are in the heart, the colder she becomes in the yoni. So what happens is she doesn’t want to make love she shuts down her sexuality and that’s usually because she’s not getting enough attention, enough intimacy through the day or through the relationship and because she shuts down her yoni he starts to close down his heart. He shuts down intimacy. She then further shuts down yoni and it goes on and if it continues long enough then a couple caught in this cycle may be headed for separation.

Once you’re aware of the fact that she is coming from the heart and what she wants is intimacy, romance, and she becomes aware that as she keeps shutting down sex she’s never going to get his intimacy, he can do something about it. Being in touch with your heart and how much love you can feel is a wonderful aspect of Tantric lovemaking secrets.

Next time you’re making love stop in the middle of your lovemaking, stop the movement and just ask yourself how much love are you feeling right now and open up your heart and try to feel more of the intimacy, more of the love that the two of you are generating between you.

The third aspect of Tantric lovemaking is Sacred Sex. Tantric lovemaking can be a spiritual practice. In ancient India lovemaking was seen as a way to god. When I tell some people that we use lovemaking in our relationship as part of your spiritual practice they are often shocked. So I ask them what their practices are and they often say either meditation or prayer. Well both meditation and prayer can be brought into your lovemaking and it’s much more fun that way.

If you love sex and you like mediation or you would like to incorporate meditation into your life then you will love this practice.

One practice of tantric lovemaking as a mediation I to sit opposite your partner, close your eyes, and imagine energy moving up your spine on the inhalation with the squeezing of the P.C muscle, and down the spine with the exhalation and releasing of the P.C.

Continue this practice for several minutes and then open your eyes, co-ordinate your breathing with your partner. Then start to exchange energy. As you release the energy down your spine imagine it passing through your genitals to your beloved’s sacred parts, then moving up to their heart centre in the middle of their chest.

On the inhalation contract the P.C muscle and imagine the energy that is now mixed with your partners coming back to you through the same way. Practice this also while making love or kissing. After five or 10 minutes of doing this practice called ‘Red Tantra’ you often get a sense of merging into your partner, a sense of expanding consciousness, of melting into the cosmos.

Eastern religions would call this a state of samadi or bliss. You may have had experiences like this during lovemaking but didn’t know how it happened or how to experience it again. Through the practices of ‘Red Tantra’ you can reach this state at will.

These are only a few techniques of tantric lovemaking, there are over 2,000 years of tantric lovemaking secrets and practices that you can explore to expand the already wonderful ways you make love. Practicing Tantra as a couple can be a journey into love to explore together brining more love, joy and passion to a relationship. Using Tantra as a meditation focuses the mind on the present moment connecting the spirit with the cosmos and the eternal now.

To find out more about Tantric lovemaking, visit www.TantraCourse.com.

Kerry and Diane Riley have been teaching Tantra and relationship seminars over the last 15 years in Australia and Internationally. Their work is practical for modern lovers and was featured in the video “The Secrets of Sacred Sex.” They have a series of Mp3s and a Home tantra course. Diane also conducts special woman to woman workshops on shakti, and Kerry runs private consolations for men.

The Many Faces of Tantra

What is “Tantra?”

Tantra has so many interesting meanings.

  • A “tantra” may be a spiritual practice for achieving “expansion to liberation.” (it may be a ritual or meditation);
  • A “tantra” may be any practice of material transformation or spiritual alchemy;
  • A “tantra” may be a mundane practice of magic, a talisman, or a totem, used for wealth, power, domination, or protection, or soothsaying;

It may be a scripture or treatise enumerating any of the above types of tantric practice.  Most such writings date from 500 AD on to the present.

A “tantra” may be a strictly oral teaching of either mundane or spiritual practice.  Many of these oral teachings date back several thousand years, and are reflected by sculpture, pottery, friezes, paintings, and ritual implements from as far back as 7000BC.

Tantric practice may be highly ornate, with much external ritual paraphernalia, or it may be completely inside the mind, completely internalized as visualization or awareness beginning with a specific focus.

Some tantra does involve the use of “forbidden” substances – alcohol, flesh, intoxicants – but these are used within the context of specific rigorous practices, and should not be taken as excuses for debauchery.

Some tantra involves the use of mantra (sound resonance) and yantra (visual resonance), but not all.

Some tantric schools view existence as “duality” (“I and Thou”) others as “non-duality” (“i am that I am”).  Some are polytheistic, and some are monotheistic, some are not theistic at all.

There are tantric teachers (for instance, some teachers of Samaya Tantra) who will tell you there is no sex in real tantra.  There are tantric teachers who will tell you tantra is only about sex. Neither group is right.

Most tantra works with “sexual” energy, but this may be on the macrocosmic level of natural, universal forces of creation and destruction, or on the interpersonal level of human sexuality (whether physical sex, or visualized “divine” intercourse), or even on the microcosmic level of the polar (male/female, solar/lunar, yang/yin) forces within the individual human body.  In the most powerful practices, tantra may be all of the above.

There are practices developed only in the last 40 years, classified as “Neo-Tantra”, “Modern Tantra” or  “New-Age Tantra”.  Some make valuable contributions, in that they can improve physical and emotional health through loving sexuality, but they lack many of the higher spiritual benefits of traditional tantric practices, and in some ways further obscure the power and meaning of these traditional practices.   But Tantra has many millennia of history of this sort of obscuration –dilution and syncretism are nothing new.

Any one of the above characterizations of tantra, taken individually, is only  half-truth. I’ll explore them all intimately in forthcoming issues of Tantra Tips.

Source: http://www.umaatantra.com/

A Beginner’s Guide to Tantric Sex

Tantric sex attempts to bring two loving partners together in more than just a physical manner. The word Tantra is Sanskrit and is derived from the root word tan meaning “to extend, expand, spread, continue, spin out, weave, to put forth or manifest.” The idea is to extend your mind and encompass your body to achieve the ultimate satisfaction. In the practice of Tantra, there is a sort of “being- consciousness-bliss” which has the power of self-evolution and self-involution (learning and expanding and looking into oneself). Therefore, the evolution of self helps to bring two people closer together.

One essential element of Tantra is taking time to become absorbed in oneself and your partner. The methods learned and used in Tantric sex provide sensations and sexual pleasure far more intense and complex than just a simple orgasm. In Tantric sex, the orgasm is simply a by-product of the connectedness we feel with our partner.

You begin by creating an environment that is free from distractions, an area that is calm, quiet and peaceful. Your sacred space should be clean of clutter, decorated peacefully, warm, and inviting. Since you will be naked, the room should be warm in temperature as well. Nothing disconnects you from your lover like a shivering body. Playing soft music, lighting candles, and being comfortable are all especially important in creating a Tantric environment.

Once you are in your love haven, sit on the bed, face each other, look into each other’s eyes, and simply breathe. You have to get in touch with each other’s rhythm. You breathe in and out purposefully, paying attention to your lover’s rhythm. As you continue to breathe together, you become closer spiritually, more relaxed, and more in tune. The more attuned you are, the more aware and connected.

Tantric sex is not a race to the finish. Tantric sex is slow and purposeful, but fun. While traditional Tantrists will practice the slow lovemaking for hours upon hours, the average person trying to learn Tantra is not going to have the patience or, quite frankly, the willpower to devote such time. The idea is to not rush, to enjoy yourself, and get as highly aroused as you can.

The basic idea here is to caress, stroke, lick, touch, kiss, and otherwise tease and enjoy each other. You can take turns with a slow, seductive massage or simply sit and touch each other slowly. Pay homage to your lover’s body – all of it. That means ears, nose, neck, stomach, thighs, feet, and so on. The goal is to become familiar, relaxed, and aroused by the whole person, not just the penis or the vagina though you may wish to include a Lingam and Yoni massage as part of your lovemaking.

When you begin the actual sexual intercourse stage, it is important to bring yourself to a heightened state of arousal and then let yourself down. This means, while you are making love, when the man feels his orgasm impending, he should stop, breathe, come down a bit, and then continue to pleasure his partner and himself. This not only builds a tremendous level of sexual tension, but it also develops self-control, heightens the emotional connection, and makes the final release ten times more intense.

Eventually, both partners will get to the point when they have to release. Since Tantric sex involves a total connection, as you are preparing to release your sexual tension, make sure to look deeply into your lover’s eyes, feel their breathing, and communicate your feelings. When a couple is connected in this way, the orgasm that comes will be totally engulfing. Orgasm does not mean that journey ends though. Take the time to connect with one another, and your own road to enlightenment will begin.

When personal Tantra instruction is either inconvenient or too expensive, Al Link and Pala Copeland’s Sexual Mastery Course and Kerry and Diane Riley’s Ultimate Home Tantra Course are two excellent self-teaching courses. I highly recommend either of these courses for those who can’t find a local Tantra teacher, attend a Tantra workshop, or just want to explore Tantra in the privacy of their own home.

“My own understanding is that man had his first glimpses of awakening, of meditation, in moments of lovemaking — nowhere else. It was only in moments of lovemaking that human beings realized for the first time that so much bliss is possible” — Osho

Reblogged from: https://www.facebook.com/nino.roso1

Health Benefits of Erotic Massage

Erotic Massage or also known as Sensuous Massage or Tantric Massage is a technique and a one of a kind type of physical therapy that involves naked bodies to achieve or enhance sexual arousal. This massage can be utilized as a sex therapy which is to stimulate libido.

While we know that traditional massage can help improve physical and mental health, erotic type of massage on the other hand is focused on different erogenous zones of the body to boost sexual arousal between couples. Erotic massage does not necessarily mean you are obliged to do a “Sexual Activity”, but it is commonly a large part of lovemaking which includes foreplay or just a plain sex act.

Erotic massages makes the couple in a stage of trance where physical limitations are surpassed to a positive extent in life which leads to mental relaxation, emotional rejuvenation and body’s over all physical improvement.

Although erotic massage is designed for married couples, today’s session can be done through non-married individuals. Erotic massage doesn’t really mean that there is a need of sexual intercourse, but to also explore each others weaknesses through naked body therapy.

This massage can help suit your emotional weaknesses and enhances it to give out your inner strength. It can help take out physical disadvantages as well as improve your social capabilities. You can do this by taking out negative thoughts, stop the shy feeling and let go of life’s insecurities. Body massage in sensitive parts in a form of seductive and lust style can help you achieve these benefits.

Erotic massage parlor offers different shrubs and herb as aromatic oil during therapy. All focal areas such as breast and pubis for women and the genitals in men, are all exposed to increase the responsiveness of the couples sensual stimulus. The oil are applied to the most part of the body and are carefully and gently pressured with various massage stroke to help achieve sexual arousal.

Different stroke in a therapy style are applied not just to stimulate libido, but to many health benefits as well. Massage helps the muscles and bones strong and healthy plus it can help refresh the mind during and after an erotic massage session. Tantric massage also gives energy throughout the body and keeps your senses awake.

Sadly, most people foresee the term “erotic massage” as an immoral act out of human’s sexual boundaries because of the wrong doings of some erotic massage parlors offering sexual services. This is because of its main objective – to achieve orgasm through many forms such as masturbation, oral sex and the actual sex act which some people are taking advantage of. But unknown to many, erotic massage have many health benefits which includes the following.

 

  • It helps treat premature ejaculation
  • Personal growth
  • Relieves stress
  • Treats anxiety and other psychological problems
  • Regulates the blood flow in the body
  • Relaxes the muscles and builds strength
  • Promotes fertility in both sexes
  • Good for the heart and other body organs
  • Improves social interactions
  • Strengthens couples relationship
  • Detoxifies the body

Erotic massage doesn’t have to be tainted with malice and should be given a chance to be seen as a regular physical therapy. Some massage parlors do offer this kind of services and before you dive into a certain parlor, make sure that its legal and conducts proper and non-penetration erotic massage therapy. If you wish to go all the way, make sure that you do it with your spouse to achieve sexual enlightenment.

http://www.healthtalkbuzz.com/2011/06/health-benefits-of-erotic-massage.html